Okay so I caught my fiance using my email to find girls on Craigslist o guess to have sex with. I was just going through my email and happen to see it i know it wasnt me because that was the night he was using my phone while i stayed at my mom's house amd some of the things he was messaging to these girls was really upsetting I confronted him about it at first he insisted he didnt remember ever doing it Then he said he might have had a moment of weakness. Then he kept insisting on how We changed in a good way because while he did that he said he realized he loves me amd I'm the only girl in his life and that he only wants me. And. What really bother me is that this happened not even a week after he proposed and altogether We been together almost three years and We have a baby on the way in less than two months. Before all this I would find porn on his phone Where he would watch it or download videos or pictures and it really makes me feel like crap. I mean I know I'm nothing really to look at I put on thirty pounds while being pregnant and sometimes it's like he don't want to touch me like he is completely discusted by me and it's always like he wants some super skinny girl that he can wrap his arMs around and have sex with all night I mean We don't even have sex like We used to it seems like he is watching the TVs more than he is even looking at me I can't really lose weight right now being pregnant and all. I don't have the pretty face or the perky boobs that he wants I just wish I could magically change how I look completely. I Love him so much I would spend all the money in the world to be the completely sexy girl he wants. D':

Hello, My name is Amanda, a 24-year-old thief from Iowa.

I'm not a person who does blogs or forums often if ever, so this, this is a new endeavor, so know that I'm extremely desperate for a new approach.

I've been stealing things my whole life. It could be anything from safety pins to pens and pencils, books, to $4'000 dollars at one point.
For awhile I thought I was getting better, my problem had gone to me just stealing pens. after awhile it got worse and I was back to stealing money. before it was small amounts couple dollars here, $5 dollars there. next, it was 20$ a week.

I'm now in a relationship. one which I love most in this world. my problem is causing serious issues in our lives. he's been patient with me (angry but patient) but show he's losing trust and is going to eventually leave me if i cant leash this problem before it gets worse.

I was looking for support groups for impulse control before I came here, its sad to see that there is so so little help I seemed to find.

i need advice. from anyone whos got it, any lists/ sites of places online where i can find support. any bit of kelp would matter to me. i cant keep doing what I'm doing. and sadly i cant do this by myself

i feel like i need to tell my whole life story so that you can better understand and help me understand if i have been and still am being verbally/mentally abused... I'll try to make it not too long.
My name is Christina i am 21 years old right now and lets see growing up my mom worked multiple jobs to keep a roof over our head , while my father did drugs, cheated on her , and was in and out of our lives consistently. My father somehow convinced my mother to move to the bitch's (excuse my language) house that he was cheating on her with. I was maybe 5 or 6 when we moved, I was sexually molested by her older son who was 9 years older than me, i knew this when i got older and i figured its to late to tell anyone so i just kept it in.
My aunt is like my second mom, when i was growing up she was ALWAYS there for me, she played with me, cared for me, loved me but some how everything started to change.. i felt like our relationship became like a toxic war and i was her target. She would pin point the littlest things out to just lecture me and break me down. i was a child and it would feel like she would take pleasure in watching the fear in my eyes and the tears rolling down my face. I felt like i was nothing.
I was 11 the first time i tried to kill myself. It was fourth of July and all the kids (cousins) were at her house, i remember it so clearly as if it was yesterday. she was fine having fun, laughing with us , playing with us and i don't know what happened but something just triggered her and she just started "lecturing" (as she puts it) me and she wouldn't stop not until i literally made myself cry so hard that i had to vomit. Even after puking i was still getting bitched at "you're good for nothing, i cant stand you and what stress you put me under" . So after she stopped she went to her room and went to sleep like a little baby while i was sitting in a corner contemplating whether i should just save myself now from this monster. so i went inside and took whatever pills i could and i grabbed a knife and started cutting myself; OUTSIDE because i didn't want to make a mess.
I honestly have grown to resent her but i am so close to my family that i cant see myself cutting ties. I know this isn't a healthy relationship i have with her and i know she isn't a bad person, because shes not like this with anyone else...just me. she makes me feel worthless. we live in the same house and we barely speak two words to each other, i can feel the resentment she has towards me.
I am a very strong individual and i speak my mind i don't let anyone take advantage of me or my loved ones but when it comes to my aunt i feel like she has complete power over me . i want to confront her and tell her she fxkin crazy && needs help but i know she will only turn it around to be put on me and i honestly don't have the emotional strength to deal with her. From the age of 9 until today i have been dealing with manipulating abusive ways and i seriously don't know how to handle it.

Rightio, guys! Welcome to my world! It's great in here, albeit the landscapes may appear a little cerebral and neurotic sometimes. I lead the fine young life of an Irish student. Yes, student life is... well, chaotic. Effective organisation is always precluded by the necessities of student life (i.e. sleeping erratic hours, inconsistently meeting inconsistent deadlines, and an all-round simultaneous lack of planning and spontaneity). I am doing what I love (that's binge-reading on metaphysics and critical theory and writing highfalutin essays on it all), and even if it doesn't make me happy, that's okay, because I'm doing the right thing with my life right now. Clarity helps.

Happiness (whatever it is) is a thoroughly overused term these days. Why on earth should I be happy just because I have everything and my life is pretty darn good?! 'Erm... perhaps because you have everything and your life is pretty darn good...?' This is called circular reasoning, a logical fallacy. In fact, the entire pursuit of happiness in itself is both illogical and pointless. For a fact, nothing makes me happy. Ought I be stricken now by an avalanche of guilt? Not really. It's okay to feel whatever you feel and it is absolutely ridiculous to feel what someone else (or society, in fact) tells you to feel, because that's even more absurd that not feeling good, when life's good. In fact, the pursuit of happiness makes people depressed, because it's cheating logic and breaking down the faculties we rely on to make clear distinctions between things!

I like my life. I don't like my depression. I live life with depression. I do not live a depressed life. When I am really depressed I am not living my life, but this has nothing to do with my life and everything to do with my depression. It is important when I am very depressed to never wish my depression to end, because this would mean ending my life. And I like my life. It is much more likable than my depression. It only makes sense to say, then, that I like my life more than I can ever dislike my depression, because depression requires life in order to exist and wishing my life to end because it will end my depression is completely absurd, because it denies the origin of depression, which is not life, but absurdity. Yes, depression is absurd, but life is not and in order to affirm what is true and meaningful (i.e. the fact that depression is absurd) we must affirm life.

Of course, it may appear to be problematic when philosophers say that life is absurd and melancholia is a natural reaction to the absurdity of life. This may be true (and if it is it becomes difficult to distinguish depression from life), but even these philosophers find a way of affirming life, even if only in spite. For Camus, absurdity must be affirmed because our lucidity is the basis of all that we have. According to him, we must continue to push the boulder up the hill knowing it will fall back down, because acknowledging the pointlessness of this task liberates us to accept it. For Kierkegaard, it is defiance: rejection of help or escape which gives us strength to be our own and endure. For Nietzsche, life, suffering and all the tragedy in the world must be relished in order to rise above the adversity of slavery and become masters of ourselves through strength and creativity.

Hi guys ,
This is pretty awkward to me talking about anything related to therapy to anyone. I've been seeing my therapist for a month now , we had 4 sessions and 3 walks so far. What i wanna talk about is how i can open up to him and not feel so stiff around him and end up regretting not saying all i want or any of it at all. He says we have a good relationship but it’s different for me. I feel really disconnected. I have so much to tell him but it always ends with me not saying what i REALLY wanna say , especially when we have a walk. There’s that thing i do when i feel "bad" , i pretend that i'm telling him what i'm feeling so i calm down. Maybe it’s the reason i have nothing left to say ?
The reason i'm trying to find a way to be more open is that i feel forced by myself. I’m regretting everytime i see him and end up not saying what i feel at all , and i don’t wanna drop therapy. I really really need it. I had a really unpleasant event by the time of our 3rd session and it made me realize how lucky i am to have a therapist at all. I wanna start fresh and on good terms with him. I wanna trust him enough to be comfortable around him to make our process better and not feel pushed. And he’s just a nice person idk what’s wrong with me
I want to want to get better and not feel so forced by myself.