My therapist told me this week that she's sure what I have is Schizotypal and not Schizoid. Schizotypal covers the schizoid symptoms, the social phobia, the paranoia, the psychosis, the dp/dr, and the weird thoughts and sensory perceptions. That would leave me with MDD, GID and StPD. That's a lot more inclusive and a lot less alphabet soup. I agree with her, and when she said she was going to tell the psych as well, I felt almost relieved.

I've been wanting to talk about it for once. Usually I don't talk about my personal stuff because I don't trust my family and I don't have friends (I wouldn't trust them if I had them). I'm tempted to write it down and post it here, which is crazy for me. I've never had a strong urge to be known or to just spill my guts like this to people. It's not safe. It makes me way too vulnerable. This has got my head tied in knots, and I'm having a lot of trouble trying to talk about it in my appointments. I think writing it, if I could bludgeon my dysfunctional brain into cooperating, would help me organize my thoughts for therapy.

Hell, maybe I'll put it in here anyway.