I don't know where to start, where to end and what to put in the middle so I'll just let my fingers run wild. My username "Madiw" doesn't have anything to do with being mad, I created it on a writing site as it stands for Music And Daydream Inspired Writing. I suffer from SA (or SP however you refer to it). It has just become worse as time has gone by and it's to the extent that it is having a minor impact on my school work (or rather exams). Because my surname is Gibson, I am usually at the front of the exam hall and all I can hear is whispers and peopl laughing quietly throughout the exam so I get paranoid to the extent I struggle to have my mind on the exam.

I also have Depression (which I think I had before the Social Anxiety). My mum tends to say mental illness creeps up on a person so someone who has a mental illness of some sort can't know about it but I have seen enough of depression to know when I have it. I have not actually been diagnosed with either SA or Depression because I'm don't want to say that there is anything wrong with me as that would only attract more attention. I don't want to go to a doctor because I'll probably have to talk about things and then I'd have to keep it secret from my mum somehow.

I have to build up to going to see a doctor because my physical health has also been taking a turn for the worse recently but I'm trying to hide it from everyone because people start asking questions.

This is all I'm writing for now. I don't really expect anything, I just want a chance to let everything out without feeling guilty.