O'Buck on rampage after losing top Bitch job.....


Literary bull- $#%^ and wild man Paddy O'Buck (93) was said by friends to be "on a drunken rampage" in his Irish homeland after losing out on his bid to become Editor of the Stroud Bitch & Bastard.

Big mouth O'Buck, author of A Thousand and One Ways to Stay Drunk, was said by a Garda spokesman to have "rendered half the bars on the west coast totally unusable to a thinking man".

O'Buck's last jaunt into alcoholic satori was finally nipped in the bud when he was arrested in north Dublin wearing only a bowler hat and an orange sash, and brandishing a rolled umbrella. Apparently he had seen the future, and it was orange. He was later unconditionally discharged, when the judge deemed the fracas and later riot, "a minor case of the craic".

Bitch owner, the mysterious Count Fiberovsky, was rumoured to believe that O'Buck's introverted personality was far too stable for such a prestigious position.

The job goes instead to international pervert and sex pest Kurt van Vogel (93), who is known to police forces worldwide as a "volatile psychotic and dangerous megalomaniac".