NOTICE

EXPLORATORY THINKERS EXISTENTIAL MARCH

The Existential March against form and the formless will now be held sometime in the past.

The Management would like to thank all those who would have turned up had it been held sometime in the future, and all those who took the trouble to overcome terrifying odds by turning up anyway.

Weekly meetings with Mad John, Svlad Cjelli, and Rabbi Zappman, held last Friday of every month at Castle Fiberovsky.

PUBLIC NOTICE

Sounds and Hip Hop Lop Dop at The Spaced, Stroud.


Please Note......

The Dead Band Live will now be appearing as The Live Band Dead, due to an off-shore arrangement by their manager Big Al.

The Psychonauts will now be appearing as The Psychopaths, and their vocalist MacBuddhaBurger will now be appearing as someone else, possibly No One in Particular.

The Milarepa Blues Band is stlll awaiting customs clearance at Uley International Airport after an impromptu Tantric incident during which their drummer Rich Kiddy spontaneously attained the Rainbow Body without the appropriate papers.

We apologise for the confusion, due to creative restructuring and a reckless lifestyle.

Thank you.

The Mgt.
The Spaced
Stroud

Margarine says NO to balls shock!!!



Speaking from his hospital bed only hours after his second arse transplant in as many weeks, Stroud Mayor Cllr. Don Margarine (93) said something that none of the journalists present could understand, although it did sound quite profound. Asked again to elaborate on his political strategy for the Five Valleys none of the reporters present could understand a word he was saying, although it appeared to have something to do with "anarchist baaaasstaaards".

Later at the Prince Edward Public House, Rodborough, Light Green spokesperson Dr. Karen Scratchbites told assembled drunken journalists that although Cllr. Margarine "wasn't the brightest light in his own cerebellum" there was "absolutely no truth in the malicious rumour that his arse transplant has rejected him".

Bitch journalist Mad Dog Ash (no fixed abode) somewhat the worst for wear on a heady mix of slippery tits and lower ganges purple, lowered the whole tone of the press conference by making further outrageous suggestions regarding the precise nature of Cllr. Margarine's surgery.

"I think not", explained a marginally hysterical Dr. Scratchbites (Oxford, Harvard, Bradford Poly), before insulting all the reporters present with words they couldn't understand.

Mad Dog Ash, hallucinating wildly and mistakenly believing himself to be Drongo, a tartan kangaroo from the Great Beyond of Mahatma Ted Grimsby, politely, but most unfortunately , vomited onto her laptop before making his excuses and falling into the usual skip.

Must have been something he ate.

Cllr. Margarine is still believed to be undergoing further surgery for something or other.

Stroud.

The place it always happens first, because it's the last place it could ever happen.

Dangerous Incursion by Dursley Forces Loyal to War Lord Brazil.....

Dagg Daggley Reports from the Uley Peaceline.


Forces loyal to Dursley War Lord Cllr. Stallone Brazil were repelled by plucky Stroud irregulars after crossing the UN Peaceline at Uley, late last night.

After what was described as: "a heavy bombardment of beer cans and verbal abuse", fanatical drug crazed followers of Cllr. Brazil over-ran unarmed Taliban UN Peacekeeper Ali Mustapha, crossed the peace line and broke the Obama-Osama Accorde.

Minutes later irregular Stroud units commanded by Colonels. Archie FitzPatrick and Patrick FitzArchie effortlessly surprised Brazil's untrained forces with a cross-fire of sustained Morris Dancing, mooning, and exotic oriental finger gestures. Reinforcement arrived an hour later in the form of the still top secret T.R.A.C.Y, whose penetrating: "GET OUT OF MY GARDEN YOU BRAINLESS OFFSPRING OF A TORY BABOON!!!!!!!!", saved the day with forbidden technology.

Cllr. Stallone Brazil of Dursley is 93. All the staff at The Bitch wish him a Happy Birthday.