Michael - 17 - Original
So my system is very... confusing, right now. It's difficult for me to enter or see how it's doing. I keep feeling like I'm going to switch (co-consciously), then I have no idea who's trying to come forward and if someone does it's brief then they're gone. It's led to many hours not being sure who I am and it's making me feel honestly a little nuts. Like, I just want to be able to put a name to myself, yknow?
Well, for right now, I know I'm Michael, definitely. I don't know where Eli went? They might still be here. I mentioned how I thought that integrating might be good for us and then they disappeared for a while. I finally feel them back now. They're very quiet but it's nice to have their presence.
I wish I could more easily go into my inner world; it hurts to be so disconnected. Something happened in the system I won't go into detail over (too personal), and now this is happening. I feel almost like I'm locked out here?? Is that possible? I just want to talk to everyone.
I just talked to Harley, it's odd because I keep thinking I'm talking to one of the others but it doesn't feel or sound like them. I'll probably be making a post on the DID forum because I have no idea myself.
Until the sun shifts! <3