As I was walking down the stairs at the train station, I was thinking about the court case I had just lost and how my ex-boyfriend had offered to pay on my behalf. At that moment this woman smiled at me. I have done a lot of therapy around being able to receive what other people are wanting to give me. I went to the ticket booth to by my ticket - and realised I hadn't put my purse in the handbag I had with me. My mind was thinking how I was going to get into the city???... I didn't have enough time to get to my car and drive in. The woman who had smiled at me ,was standing next to me and offered me money for my ticket. How much does that happen these days??? I accepted and she told me that she had smiled at me because I have a highly unusual aura and she sensed that I was having financial trouble. I told her I had been thinking about a financial loss from a court case as I walked passed her. She said "You need a solicitor. My sister is a very good solicitor. And went to write down a name on the back of her card. I already knew who she was about to write down. It was the same woman who had worked on my financial settlement in my marriage - she certainly is an amazing woman. I got goosebumps.

I've tried to reach the lady to give her back the money but can't get hold of her yet. I will keep trying coz I don't think she should be out of pocket for her generosity.

I've still got verbal diarrohea and increased appetite. Last night I had insomnia on a increased dose of Seroquel. Go figure? I took a little extra seroquel and agomelatine to get back to sleep after 3 hours of nothing else working. I will text my pdoc for advice about tonight's dose. Losing the court case yesterday and having an intense counselling session with my ex-boyfriend, probably explains last night's sleep being affected.

Hey, LW!
Sorry I've been off here for a while, but read this and wanted to tell you that your experience with others being kind really resonated with me. When I was in the hospital two years ago after a really bad bout of depression I did a lot of reading about how we each put out a "vibe," so to speak... that if we exude negativity, what we attract is negativity; if we exude positivity, we attract positivity. I made a concerted effort to not be so negative all the time and without me even knowing it I changed the energy I was putting out there... random people would walk up to me in a shop and strike up a conversation; a kind stranger retrieved my parking pass after I'd left it somewhere; a lady stopped me as I was packing my trunk after shopping and marvelled at my organized trunk. Whether I realized it or not, I'd actually managed to switch from putting out negativity to putting out a more positive vibe and complete strangers suprised me time after time with their random words and acts of kindness to me. So don't think you're somehow nuts for your experience of the lady being kind to you... I think it really speaks to how you must be not coming across in a negative light to random people in public.... keep it up!! Each time a stranger says or does something nice for me, I take it as validation that I'm continuing to exude positive energy... which is GREAT!!

On another note, my pdoc swapped me off resperidol and gave me Seroquel "as needed" at night to better combat the racing thoughts and insomnia. I'm on a ridiculously low dose, but I do notice the difference... it actually works. One thing I have been keen on is watching the side effects. So far I see that it does increase my appetite, and leaves me a little sluggish when I first wake. In the thread we were posting on you were saying that you're in a manic phase... how is the Seroquel helping?

So sorry to hear about your court case... I'm sure that has impacted your mood and sleep. Keep your chin up and let me know how it goes!

-Koshka

B*gg*r, I just lost my comment - rewrite....
Just saying - you radiate good vibes even over the internet... yep, they reach all the way to Australia!
Seroquel 6.25mg + Antidepressants 25mg->6.25mg + Positive Events was making me hypo (as in hypomanic), so I lowered by antidepressants over a series of days (as shown above).
When Negative Events hit, I raised my Sero to 12.5mg and my Antidepressants to 12.5mg... I early work and spent the day in tears.
The Negative Events are still there but I raised my Sero to 25mg last night and took 12.5mg of A/D's. I'm holding up okay today.
I get what you say about appetite on Sero!!! I've turned into a little piggy!
and I do feel a little sluggish when I first wake.
It wasn't the court case that impacted on me - it was the counselling session with my ex. In counselling I agreed to meet his ex-gf and that is what flipped me from manic to depressed. In the session he said that his ex was family and I wasn't. It cut me to the core. In the session the counsellor recommended that he tell his father that I would be going to the family dinners from now on instead of his other ex. My ex fought the counsellor hard before agreeing. Overnight all my feelings of rejection and humiliation resurfaced. My community worker demanded I undo the commitment to meet the ex's ex when she saw the amount of distress it brought me. She told me to put better boundaries around my mental health. I told my ex last night that I wouldn't see him anymore. I got a barrage of abuse, which I held my own against. It is over now, I will grieve and not be brought down anymore by being in a love triangle I had no idea existed.
I'm sorry I'm being so negative atm... it does no good for anyone else, me blurting out the details over the net.

oh well I have written twice before to respond and keep losing my post... will try to send this...

Okay this is my fourth go... I'll see if this submits.

LW,
Responded on your other post to me, but wanted to comment here too. Your ex really sounds like he's not good for you. If he fought that hard to not include you in family events, then you know what... sounds to me like you should move on (I know that's easier said then done). The fact that when you told him you'd no longer see him he got angry really sounds to me like he has NO interest in what is good for YOU, but wants HIMSELF to be happy by having this nice little love triangle going. You deserve MUCH more than that. You deserve someone's undivided attention....UNDIVIDED. When I cut negative people out of my life (men, in particular) I often waffle back and forth, doubting myself and spend much time trying not to cave in and go back to crappy situations out of fear of being alone. But you know what? It's better to be alone than to be in something crappy that brings negativity into your life. There are plenty of positive other things in our lives to temporarily fill the hole that is left when we cut out a man. Just being able to come on here and talk about it is something positive. And it took me a very long time to realize it, but I'm really never "alone" forever... eventually another man walks into my life... just sometimes the gap between men is longer than I anticipate. That's all. So you just keep your chin up. You made a VERY GOOD DECISION. I'm behind you all the way. If you feel weak or feel like you're going to cave in and get back into the mess with him, you just get on here and fire off a message to me. You DO deserve happiness. You do whatever you need to do to keep yourself well!!!