Oh, I'm totally in love with normal days.......

So what's new in Jade-World?

1. I'm really enjoying Adele's Rolling in the Deep atm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb-7jByiRUY

"There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, and it's bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear..."

This girl is fed up. Love is blind and her eyes are finally open. She sees the man she loves finally for who he really is. She gave him everything. She believed in him. She risked it all for him. She gave him her heart and soul. She believed he was the one for her, her other half. But, he hurt her. He rejected her love. He didn't appreciate her, walked all over her, and probably thought he could do better. They weren’t really in a relationship. He strung her along and played with her like a toy. He enjoyed the game. He enjoyed the control he had over her. He finally went too far and she is done. But, he left her with scars, reminders of him. She was very much in love with him. She knows they could have had it all. It causes her pain. But the tide is turning, she's not sad anymore. Time and distance is allowing her open up her eyes and see the reality of the “relationship”. She is not bothered if he suffers like he made her suffer. He broke her heart.

"Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one of you
And I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Making a home down there
As mine sure won't be shared"

"Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow"

In the end he didn't just break her heart, he breaks his own heart too. Eventually he will see that they could have had it all, but only after she leaves. And, she won't take him back this time even though they could of had it all. It doesn't matter now. He underestimated her worth and what he had in her. He underestimated how much she loved him and how happy they could have been. He will realise what he has missed out on for himself. He is going to miss her and she doesn’t mind this because of all the pain he has caused her. It's his turn to hurt.

... I like that interpretation much better than the reality “Jade, he just wasn’t into you, suck it up girl”. I love angry woman music lol... Our I mean empowering femal music "I'm a survivor, I'm gunna make it"... "Thanks for making me... Fighter" lol "Hope you feel me running my nails down his back..." hehe

2. I have my boy with me for a special long weekend. He's feeling a lot better in himself and happier about the direction things are taking in his life. There is still a long haul ahead, but any haul when you are heading in the right direction feels much better than meaningless exhaustion.

3. Something significant happened to me today. When I was pregnant with my son my evil sister-in-law spread terrible rumours about me. I protested my innocence but he was believed over me (she was married to the eldest brother, me the youngest of all boys with 20 years between them) and I was disowned by my inlaws solely because of the allegations. I loved my in-laws and I was devastated for many, many years. No matter what my inlaws did to me (and they did some horrific stuff), I didn't retaliate. I stuck to my values no matter how hurt, angry and scared I was (yes even with unmedicated bipolar!). Fast forward 10 years, once my evil sister-in-law had everyone where she wanted them in the family, felt her work was done in terms of control, she had an affair and left my brother-in-law and she is creating absolute hell for him and the family. They are now seeing her true colours. X As I went to pick my son's stuff up today, my most favourite brother in law was at my ex's and he came out to the road where I was parked and embraced me. It was special. No matter what my inlaws did to me (and they did some horrific stuff), I didn't retaliate. I stuck to my values no matter how hurt, angry and scared I was. I don't need to be best friends; but I have been vindicated and that is special for me.

Arrrhhh, that is enough for now Hope everyone is well ((hugs))

LW,
OMG OMG OMG... that song!!! Now, I know our broken hearts are not necessarily of the same series of events, but we've spoken about that "done with this; he's gonna realize SOME day" part of it. I haven't listened to the song in the link, but am gonna. Reading what you wrote made my heart hit my stomach and I almost cried...especially when I read about him breaking his own heart. (deep breath, deep breath......whew).

Angry music is very very strengthening. When I finally begin to rise above the ashes I find strength to turn it on. Once I do, I'm always glad because it kinda puts a little reinforcement into my spine when I'm teetering or just beginning to stand back up. Hooray for you!!!!! SING IT LOUD!!!!

I hope the weekend is endlessly enjoyable for you and your son... I'm sooooo happy things are looking up. He's such a wonderful young man... with an amazing MOM!!!!

Oh, you are SUCH an inspiration! That was evil as s&^% of your ex sister in law to have done what she did. The fact that you were able (and amazingly while untreated) to just "do the right thing" is incredible. I'm serious... despite my best efforts, I'm positive I would have caved in once or twice and pummeled the crap outta her (errr.... which is why you are a WAY stronger person than me!). I am tickled to death that you had a bit of a reconnection with your brother-in-law... enough to let you know that, in the end it finally started to come out. Funny thing... sometimes takes years and years, but things ALWAYS come out in the end. An evil beotch can only hide her true colors for so long... eventually you can't hide 'em forever! Karma... I believe in karma!!! And I'm SOOOOOO happy that you finally got a little piece of vindication out of it **jumping up and down for you!!**

Well, know it's Fri now, but hope you had a good Friday as well and are off to a good start to a great weekend with your son!!

Hugs to you, sweetie!!!!
-Koshka