Well, mom came back from the Saturday family gathering with me. Yesterday we laid around all day like sacks of potatoes watching chick flicks and random tv shows. Was good to just lay around in our pajamas all day Today we decided that re-joining the human race was a good idea and went out shopping and for coffee and to a bookstore. We went to a shoe store and since shoes are like a drug to me (and her) we walked out with our arms full (and doing happy dances because everything was 40% off and only one item was actually full price... woohoo!). Funny, I now know where I get the "must go go go" gene... my mother. She was totally aggitated by the end of the day yesterday about having laid around and done nothing... and I was the one saying "hey, we deserve a day off!" Learn something everyday...lol!

LW- jumped on this morning and read your blog and giggled at your remark about keeping up with my blog... I do the same with yours! I TOTALLY laughed my butt off at your comment referencing our "age" with our VD remark... OMG THAT WAS FUNNY!!!! Well, just so'z you know... I thoroughly enjoy your verbosity... your posts are interesting and I've found a kindred spirit who also seems to be missing a brevity gene...lol. So you just keep posting your long posts... I read 'em!!!

Well, going to peruse the books I picked up at the bookstore (and hopefully my couch will not suck me in and smack me into unconsciousness like it likes to do....it's sooooo comfy!) Got a book about moods by the pdoc who first introduced Lithium as a treatment for BP, and another book that's a memoire of a girl who had BP from age 4 but was undiagnosed till adulthood... it looked pretty good. I'm not a huge fan of fiction... one of those geeks who likes biographies and true crime. I like to "learn" when I read, so my only endeavor into fiction is Nicholas Sparks novels (I LOVE those, but can't bring myself to read them atm with my beau and I being apart and our story is very much like the "Allie" and "Noah" characters of "the Notebook"... we call each other Allie and Noah... ugh... twinge). Oh, I need to get off THAT topic... NOW.

LW- def want to write back on your blog posting about your bf... when me poor brain is recharged, I shall write a response... because while reading it I had about a million thoughts to type back to you. Hope you had a great Monday

So yesterday I was on the jury of a criminal trial. The defendant had 5 charges against him related to attempting to carjack someone and using a knife to try to do it. The court process was extremely interesting (though sometimes sitting through testimony of several witnesses that repeated and repeated the same information got boring). When we went to deliberate my self-control was really tested. We had only one prosecution witness stating there was a knife involved and the police did not find the knife, so in deciding our verdict on each charge, we had to decide if we believed if a knife was actually involved. Oh MY LORD. Trying to get 12 people to agree unaniously on each charge was sooooooooo aggravating. The wonderful thing about the American justice system is that a jury consists of people from all walks of life. The aggravating thing about the American justice system is that a jury consists of people from all walks of life. Consequently, there were several individuals who did not have much education (not that I was judging them for that, as everyone's life circumstance is different and some are not lucky enough to be in a position to pursue education, but such a difference between individuals can make for a very frustrating and long debate on an issue). The problem arose when the more educated members of the jury tried to logically debate the issue before us and the others seemed to get stuck on the fact that no knife was found. Normally I would have expended a lot of energy trying to vehemently make my case and try to convince others that my conclusion was the logical conclusion (I believed a knife was involved and believed the defendant to be guilty on weapons charges). But after an hour of heated debate in the room, I elected to let the debate rage on without further input from me. Not that I gave up, but rather, I decided that attempting to sway others' opinions was futile, so I pulled back and let the discussion play out while I listened to it. The debate did get pretty heated and lasted for about two hours. Finally the group agreed that we were deadlocked on the weapons issue and that we had no choice but to find the person "not guilty" on charges involving the weapons since we could reach no unanimous decision on those charges. So the trial ended with me pretty frustrated. Afterwards when we were allowed to have our cell phones back I googled the question we were debating and found out that my point was, indeed, correct and we did have enough evidence to convict the individual on the weapons charges (sheesh!!!). But I WAS proud of myself for pulling back and not going into a tizzy like I normally would. All in all it was a really interesting experience and I had a positive personal experience as well (though others in the room were not aware of it). So I suppose I'm making progress.

Today I'm driving up to a family gathering for the afternoon and mom's coming back home with me to spend some time down here with me. So I got up and set about cleaning the house and doing laundry and such so my little pig-sty is clean and presentable for guests (not really a whole lot to do as I'm pretty much a neat freak, so really all I needed to do was tidy up a bit). Will be glad to see mom, but I'll be in "entertain the guest" mode all week... just the way I am... when someone's in "my space" I feel compelled to be the "good hostess" and tirelessly cook and entertain. I hate that I'm like that... it wears me out. Maybe I'll make it a little goal for the week to try not to engage in "entertaining" behaviors and just try to chill out. Don't know if that is actually possible... I feel genetically programmed to engage in certain behaviors and some, like this one, I find virtually impossible to fight. Anyone feel like that? I have suprised myself with the progress I've made on modifying some of my behaviors lately due to the meds and the work I've done with myself,...

[ Continued ]

Wow, what wonders a night of sleep can do! Passed out on the couch at 7pm and just woke up. Yesterday I was down at the courthouse from 8am and finally got assigned as a juror for a trial at 5pm. Very long day of waiting around, answering questions and enduring excruciatingly LONG voir dire process of jury selection. Getting that lesson in the legal system I wanted... lol... It's all about waiting and waiting as the tedious legal process moves along!

So today I have to report to court at 8:30 for the trial. It'll be all day today and will end when we finish deliberating the verdict. So we were told we could be there late into the night until we finish. Gonna be a loooooooong day. While this is an interesting experience, it just hit me that this is serious business... a person may or may not go to prison for a long time based upon our verdict. A little daunting. I hope the other jurors take it seriously as well... our decision will majorly impact another person's life!

Tomorrow I have a family gathering to go to. Looking a bit forward to it, and a little not. This will be the first gathering I'm going to since "finding my balance." My mom is going to return with me and spend a week with me and my doggies. She and I have a really good relationship, but sometimes being around family is draining. Love her to death, don't get me wrong. But am going from a long day today, to long travel day tomorrow, to week with mom, to classes starting back up... feels like I will be in "go go go" mode for a while... makes me a bit tired thinking about it, actually.

Anyhow, nothing major or interesting to report, really. Just sitting here drinking my coffee and typing before I head to the shower to begin my non-stop several days.

Hope you all have a great Friday... and hopefully a more relaxing few upcoming days than I'll have!

Yesterday and today were extremely draining. Full of activity (what others would call "normal life"??) and I'm wiped out! Part of me feels great on the meds and balanced and living healthy (good diet, exercise, etc); the other part of me gets pooped when I have a full day like most "normal" people. Torn about how, exactly to feel about that. I don't work, as I'm retired from my first career and am back in school full-time (right now is a pause between class sessions), so at times I feel like I'm not like the rest of the world... I'm in a bubble. Hard to explain. Just not understanding, at times, why "life" is so tiring when functioning at levels of activity the rest of the world is used to. I used to be used to that!!!

Anyhow, been reading on here just to see what's going on, but too tired to post any coherent responses (LW- read your response to me from a couple of days ago and will respond this weekend when I'm rested... tomorrow's a full day that will have me out till evening... and your posting deserves a coherent response).

Hope all had a good day today. Mine was a good day, just sooooooo dang draining!!!

-Koshka

Today started out a bit hectic... was selected for jury duty this week and today was the first day. Nothing more fun than sitting in a room with 100 people waiting to be called into a courtroom...lol So the procedure was supposed to be that I call in at 8am. Checked the website and found out I was supposed to be AT THE COURTHOUSE at 8... oopsy daisy! So got down there a bit late. Wasn't selected for today's trials and the judge released us for the day, so am on-call for the rest of the week. I think I am quite possibly the only person in America that WANTS to be on a jury... like psychology, I find the court system extremely interesting. Maybe I'll get a chance later in the week, as they know for sure there's a jury trial set for Thursday... and I now know I need to be there at precisely 8am...lol.

Not too much else going on today. Have started working out (weight training) again. Feels sooooo good to be doing that again! A couple of years ago I was living in Japan and was seriously into fitness. I was AMAZINGLY fit then. Now that I know my body's capabilities (and that I'm feeling MUCH better in mind and spirit) I've decided to get back into it. Also got back to my clean diet from my bodybuilding days, so today I may venture into the kitchen and prepare some veggie salads I've bought all the veggies for.

Anyhoo... that's about it for now. Nothing bad, nothing great... BALANCED. I think this is what it's all about!!!

Happy Tuesday, all!
-Koshka