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justonemoreperson
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My Normal Life
   Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:57 am

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My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby justonemoreperson on Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:57 am

The first thing I came to realise, when I was old enough to understand, was that I was not "sick" and that AsPD is not an illness. Having spent a considerable amount of time being bounced from one doctor to another, and from one theory to another, it became quite frustrating to find out that not only was it all unnecessary but also quite unpleasant.
"We might get some results with this" used to leave me feeling concerned, wondering whether it would lead to a dry mouth, itching, hearing sounds that weren't there, nausea, sleeplessness, tiredness, etc this time. I wasn't successfully diagnosed until much later.
Today it reminds me of a joke I once heard about a boy who said he could make his hamster deaf by pulling off its legs. He knew it was deaf as when he yelled at it, it didn't run away scared. The same "results" came from the countless medications and therapies that were applied. Simply not being able to behave a certain way did not mean that I didn't think that way.
Years later it dawned on me that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm not sick, I'm different to most.
When people find out they usually go to google to "find out what I'm like" which is a bit like me going to google and searching for "normal person" and then asking you why you don't like fishing.
For those who do not understand the mind of a psychopath, here are a few things that might help.
Firstly, assume they're a completely different species of being, not just humans with a problem. That way you'll see that within that species there are many different personality types and many different levels of intelligence, likes and dislikes etc.
Secondly, Hannibal Lecteur was a made up character in a book played by, amongst others, Anthony Hopkins.
Thirdly, if you think that we don't behave well in society, I have to tell you that I read the news and you lot are pretty messed up too. Just because you may not have a label doesn't mean you're any better at dealing with the world than me. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I'm probably better at running this planet than you, as I'm not hindered by irrational emotions and nonsensical beliefs in fairies, santa claus and god.
I'm married (the second time around) and I have two kids. My first wife blames me for the way she is today, but interestingly this happened after she knew what my label was. Before this she was just screwed up, but it was much easier to give up responsibility for herself and blame me once I had, in her mind, a label. My second wife knows about my condition and is supportive (although she gets frustrated at times). I made sure she knew this as soon as possible to avoid the same nonsense happening twice.
I have three friends who know of my condition, and they ask many questions. The most common question is "How do we know you have genuine feelings for us?" and of course the answer is "You don't. I want you around as I enjoy your company and so it makes sense for me to want you to stay fit and healthy." It's not rocket science.
Could I kill someone? Yes, of course but again, take a look at the news and you'll see it's not an activity reserved for those with AsPD. The difference is that I wouldn't really care afterwards, whereas you'd probably feel like crap for some time.
I have no interest in telling the rest of my family and friends. My mother knew and it constantly bothered her, but she died recently and so that problem went away. Most of my family realise that something is different, but nothing specific.
My life is quite frustrating, and being in groups of people can be exhausting as I constantly have to think about my behaviour and actions. Mostly it's my choice of phrasing. A recent example: We met some friends for a drink one evening as planned, but were late. I turned up and said "Sorry we're late, my mother died this afternoon and it took ages to get stuff sorted at the hospital." Fortunately, my wife was with me to pick up the pieces of the conversation. She said to me afterwards "It's ok, people assume that everyone deals differently with this stuff and they're expecting you to fall apart when it's all over. So, once the funeral's over, just stay home for a while so that they don't see you."
I'll keep this upadated if anything else occurs to me.
Remember: if you see a psychopath, give him a hug! It's much easier to reach your wallet that way.

I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby justonemoreperson on Mon Dec 30, 2013 8:49 am

Ok, thanks.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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RE: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby mav3rick on Mon Jan 13, 2014 3:30 pm

edit
Last edited by mav3rick on Fri Sep 26, 2014 12:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: couldn't delete
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Re: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby mav3rick on Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:33 pm

edit
Last edited by mav3rick on Fri Sep 26, 2014 12:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby C-standard9 on Wed Sep 17, 2014 5:40 am

I would really like to know more about the personality types you mentioned. Im guessing they are varried quite a bit. I used to know a man that was AsPD, and from what I can tell, you are very different. Imagine that! Different people not being exactly the same! I am completely facinated by this. Have you ever met someone else with the same diagnoses? What did you think of them and why?
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Re: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby cntbelivit on Fri Jul 31, 2015 4:07 am

I wondered, do you think you'll ever return to PF?
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. - AE
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Re: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby slw on Mon May 01, 2017 9:04 am

*mod edit*
Last edited by Snaga on Mon May 01, 2017 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: inappropriate graphic/violent/abusive language to other members
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Re: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby dnanwodedispU on Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:23 am

The wallet.. Lol

I also enjoyed the one about the hamster.


You're a good guy. Much better than I've ever been. Sounds like you had a pretty good start, minus all the guneaui piggery. But hey, we play the hand we're dealt.

Pleased to make your acquaintance, Buddy. :)
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Re: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby Ifog671 on Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:41 pm

Holy crap....That looks like I wrote that!!!! Holy crap! I've seen and heard a lot.....a lot of misdiagnostics people who think they are psychopaths because they are violent.....etc. I've been committed and in and out of clinics. Most begin to distance themselves from me. Even the violent patients. If you where to meet me I'm very thoughtful and accommodating. Superficially I'm like anyone else. It's the unique way of thinking that others literally describe as cold. It's not that I'm discussing violence....I don't. I really have impulse thoughts of such. It's something else. How I value things and engage philosophically.....Its like a computer and the sounds and words don't bring life to others. I can have violent triggers....mostly controlled.....but they stem from reaction of people telling me I don't make sense....when clearly they don't see all the emotion in their conclusion. I've become accustomed to people not understanding me....that isn't a trigger. It's when they try to explain that I'm crazy and don't make sense....or I'm having a psychotic break. I'm as calm as a kitten. They misread and correct a accurate cause and affect .....that is as spot on as the sun rising from the east. I've followed through that others were right and I'm wrong and researched. Got profession opinions. I was right yet people say I'm have a psychotic moment. It's a trigger because that is an lonely or empty spot. I'm a cancer of some sort.
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Re: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby dobiedobiedoo on Tue Feb 27, 2018 9:14 pm

What is this "burn" you are talking about?
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Re: My Normal Life

Permanent Linkby Twinkling Butterfly on Fri Mar 02, 2018 8:33 am

Do you ever think about blogging anymore, sweetie-path?

P.S.: Dobiedobiedoo, he means this: https://www.psychforums.com/antisocial-personality/topic106887.html
DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional.
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