So yesterday A friend and his wife (They got married early) asked me to go to Kimberly with them. Their going to a car show but its 10 min away from "Die Groot Gat Van Kimberly" so what it is basically in the middle of like the desert a meteor hit and made a huge hole and in side this hole a lake was created and like a mini jungle. It's 6 hours away from my house (well 6hrs and 18 minutes to be exact according to google maps) and I have always wanted to go and photograph this. So I was kinda excited when they said I should come, sadly this excitedment was short lived when he started saying that all of his family, her family and their friends were going with, plus we are sleeping in tents.

1. I have never slept in a tent or a sleeping bag in my life. I will have to rent these things to.
2. its going to be +- 80 people of which I know 2
3. we'll have to pee in a bush, since its over 4 days I wont be able to hold it in that long and lord forbid I need to do more than pee.
4. being cramed together with all these people with no place to escape and recharge is hell for me.
5. They will drink, and I don't. I like to watch drunk people when their not apart of my group otherwise I hate it.
6. I will be all alone with all these strangers, no buffer person.
7. they are all afrikaans and thats what they speak. I can sort of understand but can't speak it at all

these are the main reasons I told him that I would not be able to go with them. I am a bit disappointed that my shyness has stopped me going, but going to see this is sort of like a dream and I know that going with them I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself or really be able to take the pictures I would like.

But alls well that ends well. My father saw that I was disappointed in not going (And understands why I cant join the others) so once the car show is over we'll go down so I can finally see it. Yay!

Well this is my first time doing any sort of blog like this, except for tumblr but that's just funny pictures and random things so it doesn't really count.

I don't know if anyone even reads these things but I'll write anyway.

So a lot of users said that you should read the website shy in the fire light. And I did it did have a lot of insight that helped me understand a lot more. Im not a pure schizoid, but in my studies in economy and science I have been taught that a perfect condition doesn't exist and there is no reason that it won't apply to this as well. I'm schizoid that I don't want friends or need the them. I don't connect with people. I have a wild imagination. But I'm just shy because I fear what people think of me. I avoid having to deal with people but I think that could be conditioning from my childhood?

I actually like not wanting human contact but my shyness and social anxiety is a bit of a problem but I'm dealing with it. I don't sleep much I stay up until early in the morning like a mad writer. I have had two of my stories published but its just two in a sea of books. Although this is something that I am proud of. You might not believe me because of the way I write now and here, but I do my best work between 2 and 5 am.

So that's just a few thoughts and facts.