Decided to make this as a blog rather than a new thread.

Life is not going so well right now because I have recently been told that I am, if the application is successful, to be put on another community treatment order of forced anti-psychotic injections.

This is bad because the dose will be so high that I will a) feel terrible, and b) due to fatigue and restlessness I will be unable to function very well, so I won't be able to work, and given that I just finished my degree I was hoping to enter the workforce. Also my social life will suffer, and my emotions are likely to become even more negative than they have already become. I am starting to become at risk of hurting myself.

The story regarding the CTO is that... after already having a history with the mental health system, I came into problems during a drug binge and ended up in the psych ward and put on a CTO. The CTO lasted a year, and then they let me off of it. During this time I was advised to stay on the medication, but in tablet form. I asked if I had to do this and I was told "no, it's just a recommendation". I asked if they would apply for another CTO if I went off the tablets. They said "no, the only reason that would happen is if you're becoming psychotic".

Ok, so what did I do? I went off the tablets. And what did the treating team do? Applied for a community treatment order. After being told it was just a recommendation and they wouldn't apply for a CTO just for going off the meds, that's exactly what they've done. Oh, but they're CLAIMING that my mental health is deteriorating. Honestly, at this point I can't say it's not, because the news of the CTO has hit me hard, but prior to that time there was no deterioration. My words against theirs though, and we all know who a legal authority is likely to listen to in this case...

The mental health system has too much power and not enough care. And I mean real care. The mental health system needs to actually care about people. Forcing someone to take debilitating medications and then saying "it's for their own good LOL" does not count as care.

This has dragged on for far too long, and I'm starting to abandon hope.