I used to get so bent out of shape by the way society treats Pedophiles like myself but then I started to get a strong feelings about who I am and what I will be until the day that they put me 6 feet under and yeah I have done some terrible sex crimes towards young children and I resent that I have done those things but I don't regret that I am a Pedophile anymore because I never choose to be this way but this is the way that I am.

I could say that I am sorry over and over again to my victims but it won't mean anything to them or society unless I am in prison and rotting away in a jail cell for the rest of my life in which sometimes I don't care if that is where I end up being again but I don't want to get there by sexually acting out with a child even though I want to be that way so much but the power that I gave into before I will stay strong and not do that again and I will not act out sexually with children because I know the impact it does to the child and I know the impact it has on that child's family and there future.

I have accepted the fact that I will always be sexually turned on by young children for the rest of my life but I do not consider myself a monster for the rest of my life. When I was active with children I was a complete monster and I was selfish and didn't care about anyone else's feelings but my own and getting off sexually to meet my needs. I was a real asshole and I was a prick. I can't count the victims that I had and I think that is disgusting on my part and wish that I never hurt any of them but I cannot change the past.

Society views all Pedophiles as monsters and the worse of the worse even if you are a Pedophile that has never acted on your desires. My family wanted nothing to do with me after they found out what I did and I never had visitors after I went to prison because my parents came to visit me and they wanted to know if it was true that I was a Pedophile and I told them straight up that I am one and that I will always be one. When therapists and books say that Pedophilia cannot be cured they are right in my opinion.

I mean of course you can suppress those desires and feelings but they will always be with you until the day that you die just like you will always be gay or straight for the rest of your life as well. I know that children will always excite me in ways that don't excite normal adults and I am okay with that. I am not going to feel guilty because society wants me to feel guilty about simply being a Pedophile. I feel guilty for the crimes that I have done and I felt guilty when I was in prison for those sex acts but just because society wants me to be a certain way I am not going to be that way.