MT
(incest)

I will just come out and say it. Why I am the way I am.

When I was 5, both my parents, at the same time would force me to be in their sick menage a tois. If I did not comply, I would get hit.
As long as I can remember my older brother, who was my mom's favorite, always had his own room. My mom made my dad sleep in the living room cause he never showered. Ever. And until 5, I was made to sleep in a crib, placed up against the wall, a couple of feet from my mom's huge bed. This was so, when it struck their fancy, all they had to do was order me to leap from the crib onto the bed. Sometimes my mom forced me to sleep in my crib naked which was a terrible feeling. My mom slept naked and always walked around the house naked as well, which always made me feel uncomfortable cause it reminded me of being in bed with her and doing things a 5 year old should not be doing.
One of my earliest memories is of my father coming into my mom's bed, naked and my mom ordering me to jump into the bed with them. I remember thinking, no, not again, so it must have happened before. And when I wouldn't, my dad coming over to the crib, picking me up and carrying me back to the bed.
I have four older brothers. I am the youngest, and the only girl. And no, I was not spoiled cause of it. Believe me.
After the third boy, my parents waited 10 years, and had two more kids. My older brother, who is 2 years older than me, and then me.
I once as a teen asked my mom why they had more kids after 10 years, and she said they kept trying until they would get a girl. GEE I WONDER WHY ??? Fluffin perves !!!
I wish they had never had any kids. People like them do not diserve the God given blessing of having children.
My immediate older brother, could not stand my existance. Cause by then, the other 3 brothers had moved out, and he wanted our mother's attention all to himself. So instead of being this protective older brother towards his little sister, he literally tried to kill me a few times while growing up. Let's see........tried to get me to drink bleach, released the emergency brake on our car while I was in it sending me rolling down a steep hill headed toward a busy main street, and pushed me down an entire flight of outdoor concrete stairs. This one almost worked. I was unconscous for 5 whole minutes.
But besides the sprinking of homicide attempts, what I had to look forward to from him was daily punches to the stomach which knocked the wind out of me. Every. Day.
I would tell my father when he came home from work, cause good for me (for once), my father hated sissies, wussies. So he would beat my brother everyday for it. But then the moron would just do it again the next day. Never understood it.
One day in kindergarten, I can still remember it so clearly, I was sitting crossed leg in my plaid dress, on a brown mat. We were in the midst of show and tell, and when everyone had finished showing their items proudly brought from home, the teacher asked if anyone had anything to tell. I looked around to see if anyone wanted to go first. Cause I wanted to be last in order to have my teachers undivided attention. So when nobody raised their hand to her inquiry, I raised mine.
"Ok, what do you have to tell ?"
"My parents make me touch them."

Weeeeeeeel......

A meeting was held, and it was determined that I was lying.
You see, they didn't have all these child advocacy groups like they do today. Pity.
When I was a teen, I saw this movie called Stone Boy. It's about a family with 2 sons. One early morning the boys go hunting and the younger accidentally shoots the older, favorite son, killing him. In his utter shock he merely goes home and doesn't tell anyone. And when his body is found and the truth comes out, the parents stop talking to the younger son. They just simply ignore him. To the point that he can't take it anymore and runs away.
But then, his Grandpa goes and finds him and brings him back.

That's me. I'm stone girl....

[ Continued ]