And other stupid stories HERE in my blogs!

Like an illusion it all seems like a trick of the mind

But sometimes those "tricks" have something to say.

Do you like to pull tricks on people?

I don`t do it that very often, as a matter of fact i have only done it a few times and they were all done in my adolescence.
Is the trick a real reality or is it a façade?

When my mother married my stepfather and told me that he was my new step(father) i felt as if i had been tricked, since my real father was somewhere else.

They changed my name so that it would look like i was his real daughter.
I knew my real father was somewhere else but we never talked about him or saw him, therefore my mother had made a wonderful disappearing act with him. She left no photo`s of him at home, i don`t have any pictures of him. Its like he never even existed.


Puff! And he was gone out of my life forever!

The only reason i got a glimpse of him was because my sister and brother could see him. My mother didn`t manage to get them totally invisible too!


So the point to my thread today is that we all can be good illusionist(and yes my stepfather did actually kiss Julio Iglesias on the mouth! They were in a talkshow together and Julio kissed him at the end of the show, he was also in the warm up band for the Rolling Stones once, but that is another story. )

Sending mails, meeting people, trying to get ends to meet!

(what is a downdate?)

A comment can sometimes gain more power and wind force then it should!

I would like to take an example:
My stepfather (who acted as my guardian in my childhood) said some mean things in regard to some of my friends. He thought that he had the power to change things for the better by criticising things i said or did.

Once he said that the only reason my friend called me on the phone was so that she didn`t have to be bored.
He also claimed that another friend (who also had some problems at home) would be much better for me. Therefore whenever that one came over he always acted sweet, whilst with the other one he always gave "dirty looks" (No not that kind of dirty looks!)

So many comments gain false approval for something they are not.

The first friend(the hated one by him) was a good friend, in some ways a better friend then the second one because the first one wasn`t so hung about being famous in the class.

The second one was very hung up about fame and she got really good grades(which is why i think my stepfather liked her in the first place). She was also a very beautiful girl, her mother worked with cosmetics and her father was a lung doctor(now separated).

My other friends parents were also separated, her mother was a smart woman and worked for the government in a high position. I would sometimes visit her in her office and then met some famous politicians. Her daughters were a result of a marriage that she had to very nice man who happened to be gay for 15 years without telling her anything about it.

But they are still very good friends up to this day, despite the failed marriage.

And they sometimes celebrates christmas together.

I also had a doctor in my last working place come up to me and say that a monkey could do the job i was put to. I guess he was stressed that morning, i had never had any problems with him before, and he had never said something that mean to me before, but all of the sudden while i was working behind a counter with lots of people standing around it in the room(he was the only one at the counter but the room was full of people i was suppose to help), he came up and uttered those word to me.
He reminded me a lot of my stepfather in many ways, the same dark hair and the same personality.
Another person in the hospital pinched my arm so i got a blue mark on it.
She was also a bit special sometimes.

Don`t come saying that i haven`t met people like that!

The whole day has been filled with insecurities. I am wondering what i should do about my doctor situation? I am a bit unsure about my doctor. I don`t know if it will help my situation to swap doctor?
All doctors need scientific proof for what is being said but then some are more understanding.
The first thing i asked him for when i entered his office was help to get permanent working status, with that in mind he wants to clear out the possibility that i am a criminal-and by doing so i gain the status as a criminal until the opposite is proven

Since my case is complex and i haven`t managed to take a MR yet, it all looks hazy.
I am wondering if i should contact him again for a recommendation to take the MR with full narcosis inside a hospital?
I don`t really want to do it but i see no other option.
I feel angry with myself for not managing to crawl into a scanner for just 10 minutes!
I even paid for the treatment!

I have got a few things on my mind today.
One i am thinking about the affairs with the employment office, i have just seen a documentary about the office(its a nation wide office that gives out money to the people who can`t work), they have a very strict/stupid regime where they need to be 100% sure that the person they are giving away money to can`t work. With this in mind they set off on a mission to prove it by sending the person(s) to several medical tests. One guy had injured his foot in a shooting accident and was disabled, he had been offered a permanent non working status twice, but had turned it down because he wanted to see if he could manage to work anyway, despite the pain.
He didn`t manage and went back to employment office to get his non working permission, they then turned him down and sent him off to a numerous of medical tests. One test was to see if he was intelligent enough!!???
He sat partly in a wheel chair because of his foot injury(doctors almost had to amputate his foot and he had an injury in the muscle).
He also had a bad childhood which he didn`t talk that much about in the documentary but said that his parents were alcoholics and that he didn`t get the follow up he needed, which can leave a person astray.

Another persons journal was sent to a gynaecologist despite that he was a man and that he had problems with his lungs after working with diesel fumes on a boat.
He had a wrong diagnose for a year where a doctor had given him a lethal disease!

So for a year he thought that he was dying.

Its a saying that many cooks make more mess.
The first guy in the document was sent to many specialists and they all concluded on something else.

Actually they both were "sent" (sometimes they didn`t actually meet the specialist for the evalution!) to different specialist.

The road to permanent non worker status is long.