I just heard an answer online about how people fall in love... apparently there must first be an attraction then an obstacle and then when that obstacle gets removed (e.g parents, or distance), then the passion can occur. It seems like a very easy recipe to falling in love.

Some(me) might see that the obstacle is a tension.

The man in the interview goes on by answering why there are so many sexless marriages and say that the reason is because the intent of the passion has already been fulfilled(think flower and bee).

So i am guessing that couples who stay together have somehow managed to figure something out or they are completely sexless

Some stay married because of the children.
I think my mothers obstacle before she met my stepfather was her previous marriage.
In some way i feel as if my stepfather(who has been married to my mother for decades), has used her previous children as a type of obstacle in order to always have something to move from the road.

So maybe that is how they renewed they`re marriage?

A change can be either good or bad or both at the same time.

I used to have a small fence outside my window that would prevent people from stepping on the small lawn that is right outside my window, and thus preventing them for coming to close, so i could get some privacy.

I live in the first floor and my view is out to a backyard but also to the entrance of the block, so there is a small road that crosses right in front of my window(behind the lawn).


When i moved in here there was a fence around the lawn...gee wish i could make you a drawing of how it looks but you will have to use your imagination here a little bit..

So renovation came and my fence disappeared and people started to take short cuts over the lawn and crossing too closely in front of my window, allowing them to get a better look inside.

I bought new curtains-this time some that people can`t look in thru.

It made me think about all the changes we cannot foresee because they are somewhere in the future waiting for us.

Sometimes you make a deal with someone but then that deal is changed and you sit there with either less, more or something else?

I think that is why so many people get divorced because they didn`t really know what they were bargaining for. My parents had a divorce 10 years into their marriage and i think they both had issues that they didn`t want to know or have to deal with, so they took the shot cut instead.

I am sick of my mothers brain farts which is why i don`t have any contact with her...

She can give me a advice which much later can turn out to be an advice which was given to her from her father, which she didn`t know because the relationship with him was amputated, so i am basically just some sort of a catalyst for her understanding.

She sends me on wild goose chases all the time and none of her so called "advice" is ever up to date, accurate or even well meaning, they are just words mumbled out so she can go and do what is important to her.

Its memorial day for the victims and survivors of the 22/7 attack we had last year.
A lot of nice and heart warming speeches and a free concert with many famous artists.
Unfortunately its raining like it did last year too, so the outdoor concert will have a damper but at the same time i think it suits the mood and the theme...

I hope y`all r safe and well, i heard about the Denver massacre and it reminded me so much of the Breivik case in Norway, which means that every country has its evilness.

So Denver we are thinking about u 2 on a day like this, so many people who passed away way 2 early.

I want to round up this blog with a poem by John Donne who was a munk in the 16 century, yet his words are still very active:

No Man Is An Island

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
John Donne

One day many years ago my father decided to pack up his feelings and leave me.

We had known each other for 3 years and been separated for 1 1/2 half year during which time he had tried to make some few attempts on seeing me.

His final decision came when he had met another woman in his life.

That was when he decided to not fight for me any more and came to my nursery to say goodbye.

At first i didn`t fully recognise him because it had been such a long time since i had seen him and because my stepfather had fully claimed his place.

I drew some recognition and we had a talk before he left me back in the nursery.
I saw him some years later but didn`t acknowledge a relationship because my mother and stepfather didn`t want me to have a relationship with him.

My mother took some egoistical choices when she was younger, because of all her egoistical choices i have chosen not to have any contact with her any more.

She did some weird stuff when me and my 2 siblings grew up, things that other parents wouldn`t do to they`re children, but to her it came totally natural when she saw that she was doing them for my stepfather.

So really he was the one who took many of her dumb decisions.

I wonder why my mother allowed her self doing stupid things? She wouldn`t have accepted it if somebody had come into her family and "stole" her father or other relatives away, so why does she accept it in my case?

I find no answer for that question except for petty reasons and conflicts(most of them are about her).

She finds it so difficult to deal with herself so she blames everyone else for her mistakes.


She criticises people for not coming over problems that happened a long time ago, yet she sits and complains about something that happened to her for 50 years ago!?

So she lives inside her box daily believing in herself and her own actions when others don`t.


Or "sticking her head in the sand" and pretending like she can`t see it, like some birds do...