April 2014

Discovery of my Necrophilia

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Paraphilias I have:

Pedophilia;
Necrophilia;
Hematolagnia;
Sexual sadism

Fetishes:

Syringe and drug fetish

Leave me in my world of clashing chains and dissonant harmonies, leave me in my world of muted screams and broken innocence, in a world where silence is the door to an insane chaotic noise.
Leave me alone in this world of tortured wings of weeping angels. Leave me in this chaotic silence.

Self exploration to me is like trying to undo an endless knot in my mind. I especially tested it for myself: it never ends, it never comes loose. My thoughts are endless processes, machines, working intensely with no pause, restless, timeless, spaceless.

They suffocate my existence, yet keep me alive at the same time.

1- Pedophilia and "Hebephilia"
2- Sexual sadism
3- Syringe and drug fetish
4- Belting fetish
5- Blood fetish

NOTES: [trigger warning]
1* = (females only; from age 8 - 15 approximately; exclusive); I don't like the term hebephilia, it's vague
2* = no blood, cutting, extreme violence or murder fantasies involved
3* = (injecting drugs into a girl's vein, masturbating her with a syringe, feeling psycholgical pleasure when I have a syringe needle in my vein)
4* = (hitting a girl with a belt)
5* = licking/sucking the blood of the girl I am attracted to. It also has a romantic component.