When anybody assumes that I'm mad [usually after I say something they've never thought before],
it is entirely reasonable to draw the conclusion that their noxious misunderstanding
is an example of Freud's projection.

Funnily enough, it takes little time in my company for literally EVERYBODY
to hear something they've never thought before.

That's because I am a shameless innovator, habitually looking for paradox and discrepancy.
and unHoly Proud of my extra-ordinary achievements. {Rasberries}.

By exploring ourselves, we come to own a bigger and more definite sense of our identity.
I think many who feel troubled are merely stuck in some mental habit about themselves.

I have lived an adventurous life,
not by deliberately choosing ordeals like climbing to mountain peaks,
but mysteriously, by ever-yearning for Novelty.

And novelty has obliged by dropping me in the deep end of I-Know-Not-What,
again and again . . . pretty-much the moment I get the new view worked out.

Sometimes a new subject is in itself an ordeal,
like I did a Bachelor of Engineering, starting at age 30,
innocently not-knowing that 80% of the curriculum is Applied Mathematics.

I have long had an antipathy to the whiteman mathematic
{I admit that it sometimes brings an excellent outcome},
but for someone who models the world from the 2nd Attention,
for most of my practical applications, mathematics is a tedious and uncertain method of reasoning.

To get that Engineering education I wanted,
which was to form a foundation for my ambition
to begin human migration to a new country, the High Frontier,
to live in earthlike habitats in space, with self-regulating independent communities.

One attraction being that when dwelling in an O'Neil Cylinder,
communities of like mind can live in a social framework
that is tailored to nurture their special interest.

Being outside Earth's gravity-well has a profound effect on consciousness.
Robert Anton Wilson leaked the dynamite information that part of training as an astronaught
involves sessions with the dissociative anaesthetic, Ketamine,
so they can learn to function while literally spaced-out.
{See his encyclopaedic "Cosmic Trigger : Final Secret of the Illuminati"}

An outstanding piece of innovation by Gerard K O'Neil
that has been curiously ignored by public intellectuals, politics and corporate opportunism.

Back then, I reasoned that it would be engineers that make it happen {it's that kind of task}
so I sweated blood to work with this foreign language of mathematical thinking,
while in parallel modelling the concepts in their abstract relationships the way I usually do.

An ordeal of mental work that had me working myself to exhaustion 6 days a week
just to keep up with the curriculum.

What the Toltec call "Silent Knowledge" has been in my range of awareness far back as I remember,
and for me, that kind of insight is the muse of the Inventor.

When at age 8, I advised my father of my vocation, to be in inventor,
his immediate reply was "Don't be silly, there's no such thing anymore."
Thanks dad. The reflexes of an article-hole, and the mind of a cockroach.

Curious thing ; After 10 years of experience in a variety of engineering workplaces,
the arduous career of project engineer evaporated.

Globalisation had come visiting, and with it, cheap labour in China.
Why manufacture locally,? when you can have 10 times the Profit Margin by importing.?

Self-sufficiency and Excellence are nothing, compared to profit margin.
. . . . . . . [Capitalist article of faith #1.]
End of career.

Start again. New ordeal.

Somehow, the next phase on the warriors' path was to fulfill
an intent I had previously formed whilst a paramedic.
I "discovered" a talent for healing, which sounds harmless enough.

But it soon brought me into conflict within a different workplace.
In healing, the attacks came not from character assassins in the workplace,
but from those hidden beasties whose agenda I was disrupting.

I was finding and removing aetheric devices that were causing afflictions in my clients.
And I was pursuing evidence of where these noxious devices were coming from.

Characteristic of the predators on mankind is their obsession with secrecy.
They viscerally hate being outed,
both in the healing chamber and in the ideas and knowledge of mankind.

So they tried to stop me : and I fought back.

Suddenly, I'm in the steep part of a deadly learning curve
in a subject upon which there is no coherent scientific documentation.
I'm under attack by things that officially Do-Not-Exist !

So I had to survive by observation, reasoning, and innovating active countermeasures.

That fight lasted 12 years, and during it, I was spurred to discover a lot of metaPhysics.
But more than that, I found the measure of my courage and resourcefulness,
and somehow came to understand the deep MEANING of courage and resourcefulness,
which was like an unexpected spinoff personal Bonus.

From within those years of investigation and daily battles,
grew a self-assurance that I now regard as pricelessly valuable.

Valuable, in the sense of having confidence in self-reliance.
Self-reliance is not easy to learn, because it pisses-off the petty tyrant in every egotist.

Ralph Waldo Emerson put the social reality of self-reliance very nicely in this quote :
"Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members . . . Self-Reliance is its aversion . . . It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs . . . he who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson – Self-Reliance