is very confusing. She messes with my head. She makes me feel really bad baout myself like with my weight and feeling like I am a bad person and she is the good one and there is no inbetween - which is v odd for me as I am usually a shades of grey person. But then she does stuff like buy me groceries and tell me a recipe she thinks I will like that makes me feel she loves me.

I find her so difficult to understand and comprehend why she has such a hold on me despite the fact I am an adult. She makes me feel like a little kid. Yet I feel so guilty even typing this as I feel I am going against her and being bad and mean.

I think she has pushed me into child mode and I dont know how to get out. I always feel unsettled after I see her and it takes me a while to find my feet again.

Today I feel like a generally bad person. More so than usual.

Hope all are OK

Cracked

Sorry you feel so bad. My mother plays with my head too.

Strawberryindigo

Thanks Strawberryindigo and I am sorry your Mum plays with your head too.

Cracked

[quote="CrackedGirl"] I think she has pushed me into child mode and I dont know how to get out. I always feel unsettled after I see her and it takes me a while to find my feet again. -Cracked[/quote]

You've managed to put into words most perfectly the way I, too, am left feeling after each visit with my mother.

KrokYo, I am sorry you have this experience too.

Cracked

I know the feeling. Hugs Cracked. You are a good person and deserve to feel a consistent love and approval from your mother.