Today I am going to be a lazy cow. Other than going to the shop, I am going to catch up on TV and probably snooze as I have yet again woken up annoyingly early.

Mind you, I have a lazy week finally, only choir and possibly a recording. No appts, no nothing except fun music, unless my stupid mind has forgotten to put something in the diary again. I forgot lunch with my Granny yesterday and she was not best plesed, we ended up eating at about 3 in the end. Oops.

Mini rant. It is JULY and the temperature this week is estimated to be about 16 degrees. Where is summer? Where is my 35 degrees plus humidity? I am def living in the wrong country. I think Cape Town would be nice, thank you very much.

Nearly ended up living in Cape Town before I got ill. I was offered a job in a hospital there, where an old consultant of mine was working. Maybe when I get back to work that would be good. Although that involves the GMC and dont even get me started on them

Soooooooo what should I do now? Stay up and go to the shops then snooze, or snooze then shops? What a momentous, life changing decision to have to make. Strike that, world changing...

Well as I ponder that, I will leave you all in peace. Take care

Cracked

My previous blog has made me feel very bad. I feel ashamed about it and like I should delete it. I am not going to because I should feel like the shame lies with them. But right now I dont.

Cracked

My therapist did a visualisation with me to find out what had happened with the whole feet trigger thing. Basically they had pinned me down because I said no and cut my foot then made me suck one of their cocks and the other one anally raped me whilst they were laughing. I was sick because he was too big so he hit me on my head badly.

I feel numb and sick and bouts of shock and had to be sick during the session. I also feel utterly exhausted. But at least I know. And can work on it from there.

I think I am going to go to bed soon. I am so tired.

Hope all are OK.

Cracked

Are there any other MKs or similar out there? I would just like to know I am not the only one. Let me know if you are listening

Cracked

Just got back from a choir performance. It went well, tho was a bit triggering as it was in a secure mens' unit and I was just thinking there could be abusers here. My solo went well tho or so ppl said to my face!

Have got a meeting with some ppl up the street about a street party coming up, which I foolishly said I would help with. I want to show ppl I am not just the mad person with the overgrown garden. But tbh I feel like cancelling.

Seeing my therapist tom, which is so needed. Was looking at the scar on my foot. There are two, they are faint but there. And I didnt put them there.

Anyhow, we sang something inside so strong today so I am going to think about that.

Cracked