So saw GMC guy yesterday

It was difficult. I saw him at the new place for the first time. It was where I was admitted this time a year ago after a big overdose. At the time I was on constant one to one obs and I this really triggered me yesterday. It made me want to cut and overdose so someone could look after my safety and I would not have to do it. I didnt - I was sensible and looked after myself but it was not easy. I did not think it was going to trigger me as much as it did - maybe it is because it is exactly a year ago.

The meeting went as well as it could I suppose. He said he thought I was doing well and we talked about spirituality a lot which was interesting. But he asked me again if I wanted to remove my name from the register voluntarily to which I said no. He said again it would be at least a year before RTW - he always seems to say that - when does this year start??? He was also talking about specialities and thinks I would be better doing something "less stressful". I love "stressful" stuff such as anaesthetics and acute medicine or cardiology and he seemed to think I would be better suited to something like psychiatry because he feels stress "triggers" me. I would sooner eat my own eyeballs than be a psychiatrist.

Anyhow it is over for another 2 months and I am intact (ish)

Hope you are all well

Hugs

Cracked

Thank you guys so much

Hugs

Cracked