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Since joining this site, I've been unearthing trauma that's been buried my whole life. I've finally told my story, but some thoughts and memories still come up that I want to vent out but don't want to spam this site doing so through posts. Thank goodness for the blog feature here where I can put all of these vents of mine.

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Chels91
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Boyfriendish’s self-set boundaries?

Permanent Linkby Chels91 on Tue Aug 09, 2022 1:05 pm

I’ve noticed some interesting things with boyfriendish. Certain places he’ll avoid touching me or will only do so for a short time. Every now and then he’ll rub my bare legs whenever we’re laying together and I’m wearing shorts, but I’ve noticed he’ll only do so for a short time before stopping. The last time he did it, I told him he could keep touching my legs if he wanted, that I don’t mind. He just said he knew. He’s stopped playing with my hair now. At least on his own initiative, but will still do so when I ask him to (which isn’t often). I just find it curious how he’s stopped doing it on his own. He avoids touching my shoulders altogether. When we were still together romantically, my shoulders were the biggest thing that turned him on. Him rubbing and kissing them led to him initiating sex on more than one occasion. I wouldn’t have sex with him now, but I believe he avoids that because he knows it will get him aroused, which he’s been good about avoiding, as far as I can tell.

That’s probably why he’s avoided “too much” contact with my legs and hair as well. I don’t always understand it though because, like I’ve said before, he’s still obviously very attracted to me and we still get intimately close. We’ll cuddle, lay together and he’ll still touch my back and stomach area, often bare for the latter. You’d think that would be enough to make him aroused. I guess those other areas I mentioned do it more than the others somehow? I don’t know. I would ask him about it, but I fear he might become insecure. He’s still a great man, so maybe I shouldn’t even be questioning this and be happy I have someone like him who’s willing to go 90 yards but never the full hundred. In a manner of speaking.

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Re: Boyfriendish’s self-set boundaries?

Permanent Linkby Snaga on Tue Aug 09, 2022 10:44 pm

perhaps it's best not to ask. I think you're onto something, he avoids things that just whet the appetite a little too much, perhaps.
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Re: Boyfriendish’s self-set boundaries?

Permanent Linkby Chels91 on Wed Aug 10, 2022 2:01 am

I think, as a logical individual, I seek logical answers for things more often than I probably should.
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Re: Boyfriendish’s self-set boundaries?

Permanent Linkby Snaga on Wed Aug 10, 2022 2:32 pm

Well, I think it's looking as if he's more afraid of pushing you away, than he is desirous to let his hands go places they might not be able to back away from once started.
Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

We do not delete posts.


Without (forum) rules we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.

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