| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Biggirlscry/index_start-5.html |
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| Author: | Biggirlscry [ Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:04 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Self-Destruction & Humiliation |
Today you called my love obsession, and maybe it is… An irrational attachment that imprinted upon you with a wealth of hopes, desires, fears and wants that drive a mind to distraction and a hurt to destruction. I feel the humiliation of that recognition, and the guilt of it’s impulsive acts that blazed a trail of hurt straight to your heart. Sorry is not good enough, yet I still want to say it You are sad and struggling and hurting, and I wish I could help, but I realize you don’t want me to because I am part of the problem that caused the pain, and my sorry has worn a hole through your patience, as my insecure delusions have tainted my thinking. I have no right to hurt you, no right to talk to you as I do, I am nothing to you really, but a painful reminder of a terrible time. And I want to say sorry, and show you how much I mean it, but you have long since not cared or believed it. And all that is left is the painful knowledge and horror that the kindest gift I can give you is the absence of my presence. And thinking about that fills me with sadness, and angst, as once again I ruined everything…. and I hate myself for it. You probably don’t want to hear from me, but I wanted to offer this up nonetheless. I do care and I do feel remorse, as surprising as that may seem for you. This is not who I wish nor strive to be, nor how I wish to treat or love someone. Not in the least, and not least of which you who I have a great deal of care and attachment for…. with a great deal of regret. I’m sorry, and thank you for opening up to me, it makes me a better person to hear your anger. I welcome it. |
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| Author: | Biggirlscry [ Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:03 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Psycho Girlfriend |
You keep me impotent to act on my desire for you to find out more about you to know where I stand with you You keep me distant to fuel my want of you to spark my suspicions of you to doubt what I mean to you You keep me mute to silence my voice to stop my questions to stir my insecurity And with each day, each ticking second my rage is rumbling, like a volatile volcano whose pressure is building Till finally all this impotent rage will spew up from the depths of my wounded heart a reign of vitriolic jealous hate My love turned upside down my impotence a raging ejection shredding your carefully constructed containment a force of nature needing acknowledgement irrational, emotional insecure, jealous crazy bitch, psycho girlfriend Exactly what you made me. |
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| Author: | Biggirlscry [ Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:02 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Obsession |
Constant are my thoughts of you Swirling my brain like a toxic soup leaving my body craving your touch the constant ache is just too much I love you but I hate you too the moment you are gone from view how dare you leave me in this state A second is too much to wait And so I stalk you like a cat certain that you won't be back you've taken what you need and gone your plan I'm certain all along And you undaunted by my plight I don't exist when out of sight And I'm convinced that this is true My mad tormenting thoughts of you And like a spider in a web you've wound me up in tiny threads Which means that I can never leave this addictive wicked web you weaved And I'm the crazy one you say But your twisted love made me this way The trauma bond you bound so strong Destroys my soul now you are gone |
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