I've recently learned to accept things as they are. I can't do it all of the time but I suppose it's a bpd/practice thing.

I honestly believe that accepting the things that happened my past has allowed me to move into the present. Accepting that my future will be decided by the amount of effort that I put into being well, has allowed me to stay in the present. I used to get so caught up daydreaming and worrying about the future that I missed the right now.

Accepting that there are grey areas in situations, that there are continuaa which can be moved up and down.

Accepting love and positivity from others. Accepting that I am a good person who deserves love and positivity.

Accepting that thoughts don't have to mean anything, they can just skate over the surface of your mind, without need for analysis or reaction. I still have intrusive thoughts but they are less frequent and don't distress me half as much. I still get shocked by the new ones but I soon remember to simply ignore them.

I've accepted that mindfulness works..... I used to call it hippy #######4. I'm going to try to meditate once a day or at least before stressful situations. It seems to help my anxiety and bpd.

I've accepted that my coping mechanisms are outdated, that they generally lead to my core pain being triggered...... which leads to more coping mechanisms.

I'm currently trying to accept the way that I look, my size and shape. Trying to get into healthy thinking and eating patterns. I have an app on my phone which sends me positive affirmations daily, to try to keep a balance with the negative thoughts that might pop up once in a while.

Sometimes my illness can be funny, I suppose it's led me to have some really good fun as well as leading me to dark places.

I've been skinny dipping, paddled in a pond at 4am wearing only heels and underwear. I've booked holidays to places that sounded cool when I was drunk and went on more adventures than any other adult I know. I had the impulsivity to just do what I wanted in so many situations, I've also ruined my life on a number of occasions with it. Impulsivity can be bad, but if nobody did anything out of the ordinary we would live in a very boring world indeed. I suppose I'll always have a story to tell (hopefully at an appropriate time) and I shall never get bored.

Throughout my life I've done some questionable, dangerous and really quite brave things but........
I was scared of my vitamin fizzing in a glass the other day, it was pretty traumatic for about ten seconds until I realised there wasn't anybody in my kitchen, making strange hissing noises and presumably trying to kill me.

I've had BPD forever in my opinion although it wasn't diagnosed until my late twenties; It challenges me in many ways such as anxiety, impulsivity, sexualised behaviour, lack of sense of self, confidence issues, eating problems, nightmares and maintaining relationships. The root cause is childhood trauma, of that I'm certain, I overcame everything that happened during my childhood and I will also overcome BPD, I know it.

First step on my journey of self compassion: I love myself and am prepared to work on myself in order to feel better. I will be as compassionate to myself as I am to others. I will stop judging myself on my body and start working towards feeling like a good person, not worrying about being a good looking person.