I couldn't think of a subject for what I wanted to write like I normally do, so I let some words descriptive of what this will hopefully contain and wrote it down before I could overthink it.

Whenever I say something about myself, unless it is a direct observation or a few simple jumps from one, then I am not at all certain. I have many explanations that seem to fit the given circumstances, I just write down whatever one I believe is most likely at the time. Take my current situation for instance, can't really feel emotions and I never really cared about anyone a normal person would have (parents, siblings, friends. I do mean always, I have memories of being a very small child wondering what I meant when I said "I love you" to my parents, and when I noticed that I didn't care for them any more than a friend, my thoughts were "Well, no reason to look weird, I should keep acting like normal. Maybe its just an age thing anyway"). Its a situation with many factors, and thus has many explanations. One of the ones I've thought of recently was because I had an overly active imagination. Not just that though, that's fairly normal. Strangely, one of the favorite things for my imagination to show me was me dying. I'd be on the second floor of a building, have a free moment to think, what thoughts come? The floor collapsing beneath me, the ceiling crushing me, me leaning over that balcony and slipping/getting pushed off and breaking my neck. In a lot of cases involving shifty looking people suddenly attacking or large structural collapses, there was no shortage of collateral damage (also this caused me to be deathly afraid of rollercoasters. All I would see when riding them is various parts of the track/supports breaking). By the time I got better control of my imagination and learned how to mute various thoughts, I was desensitized to death, both of others and myself. I still do see my death a lot today, but it almost always involves falling, and I can usually stop it pretty early on.

Keep in mind this is in no way definitive, I have a habit of finding a detail and making huge connections that may or may not be true. Also when I play things out in my mind I tend to get the worst reasonably likely situation.