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AnnMarie
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Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:17 pm
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- May 2017
I've Been On HRT For A Week Now
   Fri May 26, 2017 9:05 am
Heels Are Loud on a Hard Surface
   Sun May 21, 2017 8:17 am
40 Lbs and Counting
   Tue May 16, 2017 1:58 pm
On the Town
   Fri May 05, 2017 8:11 am
A Reflective Interlude
   Mon May 01, 2017 9:12 pm

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Heels Are Loud on a Hard Surface

Permanent Linkby AnnMarie on Sun May 21, 2017 8:17 am

Well, the really big news is that I started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) a few days ago. I’m on my way. I didn’t know this before it became a personal matter, but the benefits of HRT are more than developing a bosom: it redistributes fat, giving a softer, rounder appearance; and there can be psychological benefits as well. Often, the physical changes take considerable time – years, in fact. The advice I’ve read is to not undergo facial feminization surgery (FFS) for at least a year after starting HRT, to give your body a chance to make its changes to your face first; otherwise, the end result may not be what you expected.

I notice that my last blog post spoke of my wearing lipstick to the mall for the first time. Was it really that recently? I wear it whenever I go shopping, now. I’ve also picked up a pair of women’s jeans that fit, and I’m wearing them when I go out. The boots I mentioned in my last post – with a one-inch heel – arrived a few days ago, and they fit; I wore them shopping for the first time today.

I’ve been trying to create an ensemble with a Western motif for my next visit to the gender therapist. I am handicapped some by my weight, my genotype and my ignorance of the local shopping milieu. I saw an advertisement recently in which a woman was wearing a white peasant-style top with embroidery, and I loved the look; I’ve spent a lot of time the last few days looking for something similar locally, without success. In consequence, I broadened my scope and settled for looking for an attractive top in my size that I could wear with jeans.

There’s a local department store that is a ladies’ favorite, so I went there yesterday. I was wearing lipstick, of course; and the first item I tried on was too small. I’m not very experienced as yet dealing with women’s clothing, and while taking off the top I managed to get lipstick on the collar. I guess I could have pretended I hadn’t and just put the top back, but that’s not the way I’m put together. So, I found the salesgirl and told her I’d gotten lipstick on the collar. It turned out not to be a problem; but actually telling someone I was wearing lipstick was the real event. Happily, she didn’t react to it at all. That was nice. I ended up buying another that I thought was wearable, but I can’t wait until I’ve lost more weight and have a much wider selection open to me. At the moment, I’m having to make do.

Then, while shopping at Walmart, I found another wearable top; I couldn’t believe it. It’s even a bit androgynous in appearance, although it doesn’t feel androgynous when you put it on. I love the feeling that some women’s tops have. Someday, I’ll be buying lingerie.

I’m planning to attend my first support group meeting for transwomen soon; the local LGBT center has one every month. Hopefully, I’ll get some questions answered there, including where to find a new primary-care physician who is trans-friendly. I don’t think my current one is, and I’m not looking forward to cluing him in to my new prescriptions.

Lastly, I went shopping “en femme” early this morning, for the first time. Of course, I went to Walmart; the company has a policy of being “trans-friendly,” and there aren’t many people there at 2:00 in the morning. I wore the new androgynous top, jeans, new boots and a bra. I didn’t wear my wig, so my genotype was obvious. I did have the studs in my ears, however, which helped my presentation somewhat. I was nervous, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from crossing this threshold. I’ve found that crossing thresholds makes it easier to cross them the next time.

I’m pretty sure I got laughed at by two women who saw me; but everyone else just ignored me – everyone, that is, except the Walmart employee at the self-checkout. He actually started the conversation. To tell the truth, I think he was doing it for himself, to prove something; but I was grateful to be treated like a normal person by someone else.

I didn’t run into anyone at my apartment complex, leaving or returning. I suspect the complex knows, though. The last time I was in the office, there was a definite chill coming from one of the female personnel; and this is quite unusual. I can think of no other reason than that I was seen – either when I went to my appointment with the gender therapist, or with my pocketbook – and reported. I’m not worried about losing my lease, though. I’ve been told it’s hard to get kicked out. :)

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