The doctor’s office called him in response to my letter! He will see the doc sometime in the first 2 weeks of July. YAY!! My husband was grateful that I wrote the letter. We are having a nice afternoon.
Now we just need to keep things quiet and happy while waiting for the evaluation. What a huge relief.
I know there are still some tough times ahead, but I feel we’ve gotten over the worst part. Let’s hope it doesn’t get worse than the last week, because that was really bad.

The last week has been awful. First, there was a brief reconciliation where we just set aside the conflict, sat and watched tv, did a few things outside, shopped, ate meals together, etc. then, it all returned. It started Tuesday morning when I said he was welcome to come into town with me on Wednesday when I went to the hair shop. He could drop me off there, then go to the mall or shopping, then pick me up in 2 hours when I’m done. He said he didn’t want to live like that, and I said neither do I, but then you will be sure I’m really at the hair shop and not seeing that guy. He then started going over all the reasons he thinks I’m having sex with that guy, and I kept pointing out that what he thinks he saw was not real, and was made up by his brain. I told him that I understood why he believed those things but it was not real.
He kept saying things like what was he supposed to believe when I was only supposed to be gone for a few hours and was gone for several. I told him I would go shopping or do errands and that was all. He then asked me to deny that I had been flirting with that guy when he saw it, and I told him the event he related to me never happened. He said that guy for sure was flirting with me the last time we were in that place of business, and I told him that was not the impression I had. I again told him that his brain was causing him to have these thoughts. Again he was stating he wanted a divorce and again I told him fine, go do that. He said “I don’t have any money!” Which is not quite true. He has enough for the filing fee if he will fill out the paperwork. He probably even has enough to hire an attorney. BUT, he wants me to do all the paperwork and file, then have me do all the work to get everything listed for sale and sold, so all he has to do is wait around and get a check for his half at the end. I’m not doing that.
So, we are again at an impasse. I;m over in my side of the house and he is in his. I don’t have a kitchen, or a washer dryer, or a separate entrance, but I guess I will cook on the grill outside. I have a little fridge. I can do my dishes in the bathroom on my side of the house.
This is testing my resilience. I have to learn how to cohabit with a husband who has become mentally ill or has a brain tumor starting or has some cognitive malfunction somewhere. I wrote his oncologist pleading with him to help and to arrange a neurological evaluation. No word or action from the oncologist that I am aware of.
This morning, I heard him nailing up something out in the living room. This is totally unlike him to actually grab a hammer and do something. I;m wondering what he did. I will probably take pictures of it and send it to his doctor if it;s really weird.
If he thinks his behavior is going to make me leave this house he is wrong. I don’t have anywhere else to go either.
I’m on the verge of filing a petition for Guardianship. If there are sufficient grounds, a judge will require him to have a neurological evaluation.

Here’s to the good times! Life cannot all be rainbows and unicorns, but let’s definitely enjoy those periods when they are here. Like the last few days. My husband is pretty good company with a keen sense of humor, most of the time.
Today I spent most of the day getting some of the tractor implements serviced. We will cut hay pretty soon so the mower-conditioner needs new knives on the cutter bar, needs to be greased, inflate the tires, drain and refill the cutter bar oil and hook up the PTO. Things like this can be stressful and lead to conflict. I’m usually “the mechanic” so I told my husband I would work on this today. So he relaxed in the house while I was outside working on the equipment. Suited me to a T. Every time I came inside to get something, he was concerned that I thought he was loafing. NO! I was happy that he was resting inside so I could work on this all by myself, at my pace, and the way I wanted to get it done. We had to run to Tractor Supply to get some hydraulic oil, and had a good time on the trip. I got it all done my 2 p.m. and we took our showers and relaxed. I had made enchiladas yesterday so I didn’t need to cook.
A lovely day. Here’s to the good days!!