I'm 24-years-old, and I am addicted to sex. At first, it seemed normal for my age and level of attractiveness to have plenty of hook-ups. I figured I would eventually calm down once I settled down with the right guy, but I've recently come to the realization that there will never be a right guy if I'm not right in the head. I keep asking myself why I feel like I need someone in order to feel okay. I still don't know.

I'm guilty of serial monogamy. I've never stayed single for more than a week or two after breaking off semi-long-term relationships. I'd be on to the next at the drop of a hat. Not only that, but I haven't managed to be faithful in any relationship except for one. Even in that one, I spent an obscene amount of time fantasizing about other people and resenting the fact that I could only have sex with ONE. I held (and still maintain) the believe in freedom of choice; that true, unconditional love should literally know n o bounds.

I don't have a problem with casual sex. I don't believe in monogamy for everyone. Where I have the problem is that I just can't stop thinking about love and sex. I spend hours on end fantasizing about people that I'm attracted to wanting me and about what it would be like to just feel them. I consider myself easily a 7 and maybe an 8, so it was usually pretty easy to to get what I wanted from who I wanted. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong even though I was in a serious relationship. I thought it would be healthier for me to just do what I wanted.When I started paying more attention to my behavior, I realized that what I was doing was unhealthy, not because of the act of sex, but because of the feelings that provoke it. It always starts the same: Anger. Shame. Guilt. Chaos.After dissociating myself with those feelings, I become emotionally stoic. Then I just need to feel something. I just need to screw someone.

I moved across the state to a place where no one knows me. I'm trying to free myself, but I don't know how or where to go when I am free. It's been two weeks since my last sexual encounter, and it's really messing with me. I don't understand how I got this way. I used to be so wholesome and sweet. What happened? Where did all of this anger come from, and why is it my aphrodisiac?