does sexual abuse make you coward, I’ve been told before that I don’t defend myself I don’t know if it’s because of all the kinds of abuse I suffered from while growing up or is it because I’m adopted and scared if I showed them my true colors they’d throw me away.. or maybe both, I want to not care but I can’t, pleasing others just upgrades my selfhatred I feel lowest of the low, used, dirty, sick, ugly and unwanted.. I need to work on myself and actually understand not just know that being adopted and abused doesn’t make me any less than anyone else,..
my therapist told me that I need to start to think positive thoughts, but I don’t know how? My life revolves around home, university, family a pattern that’s been repeating itself all my life now I finally graduated, will start work after summer and not in a place I planned to go to, but a place someone planned for me, my life is controlled and I don’t know how to start taking control of my life, so I end up doing the only thing I do best lock myself in my room sleep and watch tv shows until I get a lecture like a kid about how selfish I’ve become. I don’t know what else to do with myself