As I was, I burned all the stuff I wrote from the first stage, I am pretty sure I beieved I was a giant walking bad carma magnet carrying all the stuff around. During that first stage, I was begining to believe in mind over matter, not specifcly telekenisis, but more along the lines of combat with other human being(not Others, like my other) this combat was not on a physical level, more like will, and emotions. I did not even have to see the persons eyes, it could in 2 different cars while driving. I don't invest much thouyght into things like that anymore, but after a person has some of the eperiences that poeple like us have, you don't hear the words"that's impossible leave their very often"
There was a shorter phase, I might have forgot to mention earlier, after that one that was the more conventional paranoid schizophrenic stuff poeple hear about, that phase involvedc me being at the center of a very complicated consipircy with money laundering, survalence. Dont get me wrong, that was a wild era in the life of MeAndOther but it's old hat these days. For those of you a few years deep into schizophrenia or what ever you want to call it(as was always angery early on when my condition was refered a schizophrenia, I would, You fools, do you have any idea whats happening all around us, with in us, you must Know! Listen to what I aqm trying to tell you, dang it! Currently, everything that held true(aside from the details) in those days, is still true, I have just ran out of steam when it comes to telling the world, it's weird you know, some how climbing for you life out of the rabbit hole and actually making it out only to find out, not a single soul, except one of us will believe you. Even if they love you unconditionaly, they would have trade their sanity in order to believe you. I am getting all negative and mellow dramatic. Maybe your story will be different than mine. By the way, guys, I would really like to hear some of the stuff about you, I just started blog today, I will be cruising around this site, looking for like minds, If any of you are in the intense paranoid phase still, I wish you luck, I am not going to try to pick my words carefully because when I was in that stage, someone could say "Gold Fish" and I knew it was seceret code for "Zebra"
I dont want to speak for anyone else, but I have had a habbit of viewing myself a misunderstood soul with out a friend in the world who could hear me, My Other has made his absolute control over me undeniable but I still have the privelage of posting on this blog. If any of you have felt the all powerfull grip of an OTHER on you mind and soul, you know that hell is much worse than we may have ever thought. My Other has put that hold on me a handfull of times, but never more than 2 seconds, three seconds tops. Considering the time spent in that grip, I don't take the ability to move or see, etc lighty. I know there are some out there that have never been alowed the speak a single word about it. For what it is worth to you guys, I do care.