Well, it's been a real up and down roller coaster lately! I had to quit therapy because my free sessions were up at the center and I haven't found a new person yet. In the meantime I did get a prescription for antidepressants. They seemed to help but now I seem to be cycling up and down a bit. Not like up-up and down-down. Just mildly up and down and I feel unstable. And I'm soooooooo tired. I don't know if that's from the meds but I can hardly function.

I feel like half the reason I'm so up and down lately is that when I start feeling happy and better about myself I start having memories that cause me to feel degraded, humilated, and shameful. Especially shame. It's like my brain telling me, "oh you think you're a decent person......well, remember this!!" So it's been kind of difficult trying to restore my self-esteem.