I am deeply egoistic. In my opinion, I do not care enough about my grandmother. Why else would I be ranting about my own stupid things here then. But the funny thing is

I DON'T CARE
I used to care but its exhausting. People just blame me for caring. So I just don't care.

I also don't care about most people, though. Yeah there are some gems. But most of them are selfish ignorant creatures as well. ######6 egoistic world.

You might say "go do something for kids in Africa or something" you know what? I am not even capable of it I bet. sure I'm going to try it once but even in my home country I can barely survive let alone in another country with strangers where I don't know the language there and am not strong and smart enough. even with all my comfort I manage to screw up. How would it be in Africa? Even worse. I know, I know, I deserve to live there, but I'm not going to make my life worse than it is on purpose.

For the ghosts that read my blog but are not capable of replying since they are non material spirits thanks a lot I know you really enjoy my blog! thanks! I will keep on writing!