Our partner

User avatar
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1243)
- July 2021
Im back
   Sun Jul 25, 2021 7:04 pm
Next blog
   Sun Jul 25, 2021 12:44 am
What car to buy
   Sat Jul 24, 2021 4:56 pm
Economic and sexual abuse when a child.
   Fri Jul 23, 2021 10:14 pm
moving forward in through the past. Learning how to express
   Mon Jul 05, 2021 3:38 am
The hard work of things.
   Fri Jul 02, 2021 4:56 am

+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Going to God instead of women; I've got problems

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Sep 02, 2017 5:14 am

Ive got problems; and I've got problems with women; massive problems!
The main problems with women stem from my mother! Im always trying to solve what happened between my mother when I was younger! unfortunately, I find women just like her and Im treated with contempt the way she treated me! I am smart enough and have been in the recovery process long enough to understand that Ive never really met any women yet! nothing! no one I would let into my apartment! meaning, the people Ive associated with are not safe! theirs no future with them!
The point; a group of people above the norm would be nice; I need to be appreciated by who I associate with; this is not possible by the type of people Im associating with! unfortunately the women are appealing to me! the out side; the inside is horrid! Their insides for me; 2 faced and treacherous!
Im obviously not around the right women! and it plain to see; So, the problem is; I must be around better quality people! How can this be done! This is the next expansion for me! This is not easy; I wait for the universe to attract people to me; the problem has been; what have I been asking the universe to do! who have I been asking the universe to bring me! Im getting just what Im asking for; thats the problem! Im not around people that appreciate anything about me! However, most of the women have been useful!
Im trying to come out of dissociate disorder and this requires interaction; not relationships! Allot of the women Im around wont " put out"; this does not mean I necessarily want them to; meaning, my only interest in them putting out; but they seem to think so! so, I put up with allot of ridiculous arrogant nonsense dealing with them! Ive given up on all of them ever allowing them to ever get close to me!~ I will allow them to think they are getting close; I do this for the social interaction that helps with the dissociative disorder! its a kind of practice intimacy; minor friendly intimacy!
Im around a group of women that are saving themselves for their next husband! altho the other 3 husbands before them, things didn't work out! many times these women see me as a weakling! And they actually believe it; and I will allow them to; Im allow to interact and practice with them socially! As long as God continues to want me to be around these people and practice; I will! The bottom line with women; if I don't hit on them to start with; its because of their personalities; not because Im shy or weak! I wont allow someone with no conscious into my bed; even to sleep with and nothing more; no sex; just sleeping! I wont allow it! I wont allow them over for tea! I just wont!
Time to move up the ladder!
Im slowly wanting to move up around better people! people that appreciate who I am!
Working with God; not women; taking things to God; not women! at the lowest levels; Im taking things to women, not God!
I have to get intimate with God! Tell God whats really going on, turn to God, not a pretty face! and I mean this; its not a women with a pretty face that needs to hear this; its God! I have to get an intimate relationship with God in all areas; all of them! all of them! completely! God brings the women I want! Im running to women to have them be my mother and save me and take care of me the way God is suppose to; and I believe this is a direction problem do to my destroyed damaged experience as a boy! to bad; horrible and beyond belief!
I have to let go of women and have God take their place! I have to turn to God and have God bring me the right women; let go of the outcome! Go strait to God and stay away from all women! all of them; because I had no business being around any of them in the first place; non of them! I wanted women to take care of me; they are not able to do so; they are not God! God can do this! Its OK to have God be my mother and father and tell God everything and expect God to take care of me! absolutely what God is suppose to do!
I cant keep slumming for ever! Im around people that are helping me because Im interacting with them; nothing more! Im not suggesting theirs something wrong with them; theirs nothing wrong with them; they will find the right people and I will find the right people; but Im not it! One problem remains; theirs nothing left for me to do with them but sleep with them; meaning, I don't want any long term relationships with them! Then they pull the: Im not sleeping with anyone for a year, Im in the recovery process! i stay away from these people! I don't get near them; generally, However, for social practice, Ill get near them!

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 3631 times

Who is online

Registered users: ArbreMonde, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Kevinbrill