Emptiness and Nothingness

For a little while I was doing pretty well, relatively. The only side effect was I just barely slept, as a result of weeks of hardly sleeping I had nearly no recollection of anything that happened. I honestly wouldn't of been able to tell you what I did the day before, often mixing it up with things that happened a week ago. In an attempt to help this my psychiatrist added another drug in to my current cocktail, Mirtazapine. So my current meds are 2000mg Lithium, 225mg Effexor, 60mg Avanza (Mirtazapine).

So it has been close to 2 weeks now and while I have been sleeping more, I feel relatively lethargic and apathetic. I don't want to really do anything and end up just going to bed again anyway (while I'm not exactly tired). Every day seems to secure less reasons to live, so some sort of severe depression going on however I don't feel depressed like I normally know so well. In fact I don't feel anything, my grandfather is about to die and I just feel nothing. I'm quite convinced that anything can happen to me or around me and I won't feel any emotion towards it.

After being here typing for an hour I don't remember why I even decided to create this post. Maybe someone else has had a med suck the life out of them, if it even is that.

regards,
Josh.

Talk with your pdoc about your Meds. They might be responsible for making you feel so flat.

Boy, if I had a nickel! I felt the same way on various occations. I am kind of heading that way now again. I have felt that way after coming out of a manic episode. I have also felt that way in depression and I also felt that way when I took lithium. I won't say for sure that lithium is the culprit, given my three separate experiences of what you are describing. There is something called psycho motor retardation. It appears in bi polar people, including myself. It is associated with the depressive side of bi-polar disorder. Don't worry, it does go away. The sooner you act on behalf of your well being, the quicker you will feel better. Whether it means, talking on this forum, changing medication, changing doctors or doing anything to feel like you are trying to help youself. I know exactly how you feel. Maybe I was actually worse than you as I took too long to talk to anyone about it.

What you are experiecing is quite normal for me. I had a long talk with my pdoc about this very thing and she placed me on an additional mood stabalizer (Fanapt) that helps to keep me going. Of course, we all have our bad days and for the really bad days...drugs just dont seem to help. The roller coaster is aggressive but the idea is to limit the height of the hills, so my tdoc stated not long ago. I wish you the best, the more you talk the more you will recieve help.