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Bipolar wife, multiple affairs how to prevent in the future?

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Bipolar wife, multiple affairs how to prevent in the future?

Postby asp3rg3r » Tue Nov 26, 2019 11:36 am


Recently I discovered my wife had an emotional affair. I already noticed she was being hypomanic (BP2) for some weeks now and I felt in my gut something was off. She was very hurtful when talking to and about me and told she wanted to end our relationship because she was never happy with me and that we are incompatible (because I have a mild form of autism).

A month prior she told me she was happy with us and our family (we also have two kids of 4 yo).

I recognised the pattern, because this is her 3rd affair since we have been together for 14 years and I confronted her and asked her a couple of times if she was in love with someone else? She denied it for weeks and even told me I'm crazy and laughed in my face when I did ask it again. She treated my like a doormat and told me on a daily base that I am not good enough for her and that she could not live with my autism (totally forgetting about my positives / unconsidered about her own baggage). After a couple of weeks she finally confessed she had an emotional affair with a stranger from the gym.

At first she was totally unemphatic and tried to minimise her actions like nothing happend and that she handled it better this time because there was no sex involved and it wasn't that long lasting. Though it hurt just as bad as the other times because of the lies and braking my trust again. A week after her confession I caught her chatting with a new guy on Messenger (a boyfriend of a friend of hers). Telling him about her recent escapades and laughing about me being mad for seeking attention from him(because I called her immediately when I caught her chatting and saw what she was been doing).

Eventually she snapped out of her hypomania because I was THAT close for filling a divorce. Now we are trying to reconcile but I don't know if I can ever trust her again, let alone get over all the hurtful things that have been said and done. Now she does not remember a lot of details that have happend while she was being hypomanic and logically it's hard to see for her the damage it has really caused in our relationship.

The only reason I'm staying this time is because she says it has opened her eyes for real this time and taking her meds, but on the other hand I'm afraid I can do nothing about it when she again gets hypomanic and hypersexual. I am hurt enough already and can't deal with another affair happening in the future. How can I prevent her wandering again in the future?

I hope I can made my situation clear and hope to find someone who has experienced the same and what did you do?
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