So... i am here

I really didnt know what to title this. So i am here because i need a listening ear and i cant talk to anyone in my family or friends group without worrying them, and its not really something to worry about. My dad is dying, slowly, and he has started to lose control over his body and his is miserable most of the time. My mom is his primary caretaker, but i am leaned on heavily in a secondary role because i live with them, and im home all the time because i am on disability for horrible anxiety when i try to work, and my bipolar starts to go out of control. I can sometimes get away to spend time with friends in cincy, but its a two hour drive, and they are my only friends.
Today we were having a get together for my dads birthday, and there were so many people around, i just had to run away, so i packed a bag and said goodbye to my mom,( who tried to lay some massive guilt trips on me), and said goodbye to my dad, (who said, "go run and have fun with your friends") and hit the road.
Now i am lying here awake, cause i am having an anxiety attack about going back home tomorrow, and i didnt bring any anxiety meds.

My life... i just am so tired of facing reality that i just want to run, and keep running, but i know that isnt a solution.

I am so very tired

Hugs, Javert. I went through a similar situation with my dad dying. It's not fun, and I wish you the best.

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this right now, sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. Stay strong! Warm hugs from me. Feel free to post any time

So i dont know if its good or bad, but i have become mildly obsessed with getting a motor scooter in the 125cc to 170cc range. i bought a helmet, boots and jacket for riding and got my mototrcycle permit because you need that license to ride on the roads. its giving me something to look forward to, and taking my mind off the problems at home, but i spent my ready cash on all that stuff. Maybe its a little bit of mania, i will discuss it with my doc on wednesday. getting my motorcycle license is something i always wanted to d, but i have always been to scared to try.