Where did my smile and sense of humor go?

I used to be a very funny person! Original, off beat humor -- I saw humor in everyday life. It was friendly humor, not caustic or anything like that. I used to make people laugh. When I was about 10, a girl in my class told me, "You are SO FUNNY, every time I look at you, I laugh!" My father and brother were very funny, too. So I grew up with a lot of creative humor. My sister and mother loved to laugh with us. As an adult I had a lot of funny friends. Now, I don't know any hilarious friends. That's a problem because we "feed off" each other. I also wonder if the medications I am taking could be the cause. My therapist thinks I'm very funny. But that's because HE is funny, and I "feed off" his own humor! I've told him that. I take 300 mg of lamictal and 10 mg lexapro, for Bipolar II. I was taking 100, then 200, now 300 of the lamictal b/c I kept getting depressed without raising it.

Hi there,
It sounds like quite a distressing experience to essentially have lost a part of yourself. Obviously I'm no professional but it sounds as if it could be depression (even mild low mood) and/or starting on meds. Don't make any changes to your meds without consulting your psychiatrist, though.

To be completely honest, I've lost some of that manic style extreme drive and inspiration to write through meds but to be honest, I probably wouldn't be alive today without them. Hope you manage to regain some of your spark without sacrificing stability. It's a delicate balancing act. All the best.

my joy and lightness of life was reduced as I slipped into bipolar illness. I was never the big joker, but I too had a sense of humor. in the darkest moments of group therapy, when what I wanted the most was to cry, I would find something funny to say. The therapist said to never let go of my sense of humor. It would carry me when I might feel unable to stand.

Lately I've been cracking up a new friend with random unexpected and sometimes outrageous statements. She appreciates it and encourages me. Maybe she prodded the crazy kid in her grade 4 class to misbehave. It doesn't matter. I feel great and accepted.

I also let it rip here on the forum. I like it when somebody tells me it helped them. That is what it is all about. Occasionally I have crossed the line, but the moderators here are good and gently bring me back on side. They are not little Hitler's sitting in their mother's basement and feeling powerful because they have an edit button. Ennui, and Oliveira, you are ace!

Now, did I tell you the joke about the two young boys bragging about their dad's ability to eat jello?

On, forget it.

I'm newly diagnosed and still coming to terms with what it all means, but one of my insights is that through experience I have subdued all positive emotions for fear of triggering mania. And over time the emotionless state has become me. I hope as well to be able to freely access those emotions once again, without the fear of losing control.

living_the_phoenix wrote:I'm newly diagnosed and still coming to terms with what it all means, but one of my insights is that through experience I have subdued all positive emotions for fear of triggering mania. And over time the emotionless state has become me. I hope as well to be able to freely access those emotions once again, without the fear of losing control.

In looking back, I can see signs that I was having difficulty going back decades. My big blow-out came in 1998. June 26 to be specific. This stuff sticks in your mind like, "Where were you when the passenger planes struck the Twin Towers?"

You said: I hope as well to be able to freely access those emotions once again, without the fear of losing control.

I'm still working on this today. The forum is a great place to practice. Sometimes I cry, and sometimes I am filled with peace, love, happiness and goodwill when I am on the forum. Plus there are moments of everything in between. The forum is anonymous. It is safe, and the people who are here with us all have something in common, even if we are at different stages of our journey. I've never seen a fight develop on this forum. All I can say is read here, write here and feel whatever you feel deeply.

Oh my gosh, I started this message in 2016!!!! I am still having this same problem, and feel really DULL and it's 2019. When will this all end?

Bipolars have a tendency to fade over time, turning depressive by default, but it can be curbed if you're wilfull and understand what the trajectory means.

Nearly all personalities harden as they get older, but measures can be taken to be more flexible, allowing the formation of new habits that'll help bring your mojo back.

What have you tried in the past few years, and what kind of support have you got?

VCRPamphlet, thanks for your reply. You ask what I've tried over the past few years. That's a good question, and I don't think I've made any focused tries except one -- I keep a scrapbook collection of cartoons, which used to make me laugh out loud, but don't anymore. I also look at Simon's Cat on YouTube. I wish I could find a daily humor site on YouTube that would send me silly things every day.

I have an old Readers Digest article about how to get more humor in one's life. One thing it says is "Develop a silly routine to break a dark mood." I really can't think of anything. I am going to make a new thread on that subject and see if any people here can think up silly routines.

My smile and sense of humor disappeared when I started taking psych drugs. I took lamictal, lexapro, along with a long line of others psych drugs. They did nothing for me but make me feel worse.

It wasn't until I chose to stop taking those vicious psych drugs that my smile and sense of humor returned.

Dear Fish, so, if you want to answer this question, do you now take no psych medications? And do you have crippling depressions sometimes where you can't do anything but stay in bed? I went to my pdoc yesterday and she's rx-ing Wellbutrin. She says it will increase my mood swings, so I will be somewhat hypomanic at times (i.e. I'll be ALIVE!) and other times I will be so depressed I won't be able to get out of bed. I told her I've been that depressed before, and I'd rather have that than be so "flat" that I have lost my entire personality, the way I am now. She isn't happy with me that I want her to rx Wellbutrin, but she says if I don't like the results I can stop the Wellbutrin. If the Wellbutrin isn't strong enough, she will rx Ritalin.