Bipolar and spirituality? *Trigger warning*

As some of you may have read in my latest post, I'm in a mixed manic episode right now, with some psychosis creeping in. Does anyone here get a feeling of being deeply connected spiritually in these states? I've read it's common, but when I broached the topic with my mum (who doesn't have bipolar, by the way), she really did look at me as if I was crazy, lol. So I guess that's why I'm asking you guys here.

The spiritual stuff I'm experiencing is around coincidences, a divine aura about everything, a strong desire to pray and read religious texts; someone I met by chance today that seemed fate, and some incidents from my childhood. (If anyone wants details, I'd be happy to supply them later).

In the meantime, I had a look online and this sort of thing was something I could really relate to:
http://modernawakenings.com/bipolar-dis ... awakening/

Thanks everyone.

I got spiritual during my mania before diagnosis and it was LOVELY. I saw signs, I spoke with Gods, I was the chosen one, there was a song written in the 9th century which was about me, and I felt so connected and happy. When I found out it was a symptom I was extremely upset and terrified that I didn't realise.

It was 3.5 years ago. Nowadays I still feel spiritual and still talk with Gods sometimes. Nowhere near to what it used to be. But my pdoc is only interested in two things: do they tell me to hurt myself or someone else, and do I have a problem with it. Since the answers are no and no, pdoc is happy to leave me be, and I am happy too. I turned from a raging atheist/agnostic into a spiritual person having faith and I couldn't be happier. My mood seems to affect my spirituality as well -- currently I have zero interest in it actually, it happened before, and I know it will be back at some point.

Big hugs!

I can become incredibly spiritual!
I feel like I am at one with nature and that I am a witch.
Sometimes, I can almost feel the magic running through me and often try to channel it.

In one of my episodes, I hadn't slept for only about 24 hours and decided to go to a book store and buy every book about Wicca and spells. Then I went and sat in a department store, just on the floor, and read them. When people would look at me I would smile like I knew something that they didn't because at the time, that is what I believed.
I am definitely just flooded with feelings of spiritual connectedness in some of my manias.

Then, when I come down, I am a staunch Atheist. Go figure!

Hello Ennui, I hope you'll get through this episode without damage.

I can relate. When I had my first manic episode, I questionned seriously my deeply rooted atheism, it seemed that some god was doing something to me. I also found some amazing coincidences, and I could sum up my whole life easily, and it would all make sense.
But since then I tend to be obsessed by Nietzsche during hypomanic/manic episodes. Nietzsche was bipolar and I agree so much with everything he says, I basically think that Nietzsche and I are awakened. Now that I am back to normal I prefer to avoid Nietzsche because he reminds me too much of my weird behaviour.

Going from depressed to manic feels like exploring a deeper reality (from my experience). But maybe some manic states are normal for some other people who are stable. Maybe mania is just a huge reaction to a huge change. I now tend to avoid thinking that the reality experienced when manic has some sort of superior quality. I don't know if it is true, but what I know is that thinking this would lead me to stop taking meds and then I may regret that a lot.

Good luck with your episode !

Yes. I get all spiritual when I'm in a hypomanic or manic episode. Last time I thought I'd had a spontaneous shamanic initiation. I live in a forest and will start going out and 'shamanising' when my mood starts going up. I'll also gravitate towards anything esoteric.

I know what you mean about signs. I sometimes think that people I meet recognise me from a previous incarnation. This would all be well and good, but this doesn't happen when I'm stable.

Thanks for the replies, everyone. It's reassuring in a way to know it's 'normal' to experience this in bipolar. Like I said, I live with my mum and she just gives me that odd, shifty look whenever I mention it that says she actually thinks I'm mad! (Sure she doesn't mean it, but still...)

My main obsession at the minute is I believe I might have been reincarnated. (Please don't laugh at the back!) What set me off is that every time I'm psychotic I channel experiences which seem to be linked. If it's ok, I'll give you a list of the evidence:

*Trigger begins here*

1) I had a childhood imaginary friend with a very specific, historical sounding name. (We used to live in a very old English city and similarly old house)

2) When I was a baby, two old women looked in my pram at me and said to my parents you can tell
I've been here before and you can't teach me anything

3) I've believed I was possessed by demons when psychotic

4) When psychotic, I believed I was the father of a family during the Holocaust and had to leave my flat immediately because they were coming for us all

5) Just before I got hospitalised, I feverishly recounted to the pdoc that there's a group that looks like Muslims, but they aren't, and they're going to kill all the Christians. This was in 2011. (The pdoc promptly had me sedated, I presume, and taken straight to hospital).

By the way, I swear this is all true. Just wanted to talk it through as my mum's disbelieving and isn't taking any of it seriously. It's the only safe place I can get any input. Thanks so much.

I'll hopefully reply to you all individually tomorrow but right now my mind keeps returning to these 'delusions' and it's so frustrating I can't talk about it to anyone.

Big big hugs.

My manic/psychotic experiences are also very similar every time, and they make sense (in their nonsensical way that is). My brain is intelligent enough to come up with something that is... not realistic... I'm missing a word here. But it doesn't have weak points, as a construction, other than the one small fact it's not true.

I hope you get better ASAP, and my PM inbox is open any time.

When I'm manic I think I can write a book. My first episode I was going to write a Bible for Atheists whatever that means. I also notice that I think I have more intuition and premonition power. I feel more connected to other people. I get religious and philosophical. It can be quite entertaining until sometimes I feel people are out to get me and I'm losing more and more sleep.

Thanks so much to you both for the replies. I'm glad you can both relate, in a way (though psychosis can be terrifying once it truly hits home).

I can realise that reading back on it, it actually does sound an unlikely story! Everything has a hyper realistic edge to it right now, which I now know to be psychosis. I've upped the Quetiapine to 800mg (took another 200mg just now) after getting only 3 hours sleep, and will see my pdoc in 5 days' time. Think I'll ring him again on Monday.

I used to write all the time as a child/teenager and before meds, so am going to seriously consider using this 'material' for a book once I've returned to reality. Thanks again guys! Hugs.

*Trigger begins here*

By the way, I'm still traumatised by the Holocaust 'vision'. Yesterday I was eating some soup and felt myself 'transported' to one of the camps where that's all they had, and were waiting for the inevitable. The stuff of nightmares.