Scared of Medication....

I was recently re-diagnosed bi-polar in October, by re-diagnosed I mean I was diagnosed at 16 years old and between ages 16 and 20 I was tried on the following medications: Zyprexa, Abilify, Paxil, Welbutrin, Geodon, Seroquel, Paxil, Respridal. At the age of 22 I needed to get my own health insurance and was told I wasn't bi-polar and suffer from moderate stress and anxiety. I am currently 26 and was hospitalized and diagnosed bipolar again... Now I am extremely fearful of trying new medications, but it may be my only chance to be able to function normally. Anyone else feel similar or have any advice? My appointment is December 28th and I would greatly appreciate any opions...

I was also diagnosed young (16 as well for BP, though I was diagnosed major depressive disorder, recurrent from 13-16) During different points in my life I have tried to "forget" my diagnosis to see if I really was BP. Each time I've gone to a new psychiatrist, they have rediagnosed me with BP, and BPD, so I guess it must be true!

I can understand your hesitation to try medications again. It's a bumpy road. It took me over 10 years to find a good medication, and medication combination.(But I did find it!) When you meet with your psychiatrist, definitely share your fears. Be open with your psychiatrist about your experiences. The better understanding he/she has about where you've come from, the better he/she will be able to work with you going forward.

I also notice that you haven't tried a mood stabilizer, mostly just antidepressants and antipsychotics. Perhaps your new psychiatrist will start you on a more "typical" BP med regime which will include a mood stabilizer, they work a little differently, so perhaps you will have better results (ie more stable moods) with one of those.

It can take awhile to find the right medication for some - but try to not give up or be too scared. It definitely can be exhausting trying new medications, but once you find the correct ones life can become much easier. It took me 2 years to find a combination that works perfectly with me, might sound like a long time but it's actually very quickly compared to many others here.

Like Cheze said, hopefully this time you can try a mood stabilizer. They are the standard treatment for BP and most of us are on one.

- EGD.

I totally understand and relate about not wanting to take new medications. Just putting a new chemical in your body and not knowing what's going to happen. I think it's healthy to feel that way. I always just ask myself if it can get any worse. If you're having a really hard time on a med, you can come off it. Looks like they haven't tried mood stabilizers yet on you. I'm taking lamictal now, an antiseizure approved for bipolar in 2003. It takes a couple of months to work, but it has few side effects and no lab work, (unlike depakote or lithium).Two of my friends are also on it, we're all nurses and stabilized overall. There is no flattening affect, it just helps your mood. I think theres some lamictal threads in here. I don't want to promote one drug too much but it wouldn't hurt to ask your doc about it.

Meds have there trade offs, risk of bad side effects or a better life. I finaly told them i need something that acts fast, i didnt have time to wait weeks for something to work. I dont know your behaviors and such, but with people who have mostly anger and agressiveness as in my behaviors, we need fast acting meds not slow ones.

I think it's completely normal and healthy to be averse to meds. No one wants to believe they need something external to be stable, but once you find the right ones, I think it'll stop feeling like a reliance and more like taking vitamins. As other posters have mentioned, it looks like you were mostly on antidepressants before; were those with or without the anti-psychs? If they were without, it's no wonder you're nervous about trying meds again. Mood stabilizers might work better; I'm on Lamotrigine (Lamictal), and while it doesn't control the ups quite as well as I'd like, it's been a life-saver.

Thank you everyone for the advice, it's a huge help and I really appreciate it... more than you know! I don't think I realized until now that I was never giving mood stabilizers and the last doctor I saw mentioned that the medications I was one before I should have never been on in the beginning. I was planning on asking my doctor about topamax as well, has anyone tried it or taking it now? I have a friend who's taking it and you can tell in her voice that she is more stable than before....