Ignoring people

I have a bad habit of ignoring people because either

1. I'm totally preoccupied with my thoughts
2. I'm really nervous of the person talking to me and is not sure how to respond
3. There are too many conversations going on and I'm trying to stay tuned
4. I really don't feel like talking

I've tried focusing outward but the moment I feel nervous I forget and start internalizing, plus being introverted really doesn't help. I'm amazed they still talk to me afterwards.. it makes me feel pretty bad about myself.

So does anyone have any tips on how to stop?

Thanks

Its not surprising nobody has responded with any "tips on how to stop" in this forum lol. But it is weird nobody has responded at this point.

Vine wrote:I've tried focusing outward but the moment I feel nervous I forget and start internalizing,

I think you worded this pretty well, it captures what I feel in the rare occasions that I'm in the presence of a girl that I develop a crush on. We just sit there, obviously both attracted to one another, knowing full well it's the "man's(me)" job to initiate a convo.
And then happens what you described above.

I think shifting your focus on a manual task and ignoring the voice that tells you "they're watching you, ya know?" is one way to realize that all eyes AREN'T on you. It reduces anxiety and maybe can lift your mood and *gasp* maybe even makes you feel outgoing for the day.

This is all I've got, I have no clue how to fight the anxiety and keep interested to keep the flow of the convo going.

I dont ignore people, its just most people dont have anything worthy of listening to. But i do my best to pretend im interested in what others have to say.

the other me wrote:I dont ignore people, its just most people dont have anything worthy of listening to. But i do my best to pretend im interested in what others have to say.

Wow in a way it sounds kind of bad seeing it out loud (so to speak), but I almost entirely agree with that. Although the bit I'd throw into myself is that it's a combination of not having much in common with people and that for me to engage in a subject (besides small talk/pretending to care or know about subject) I need to be interested in it and know about it. I almost never have much in common with people (and when I do, it's not much so pretty short conversations) so I usually just keep to myself.

I hadn't really seen it as ignoring people, I suppose they do - which isn't good.

I tend to ignore people, sometimes I just pretend I didn't hear it when they're saying my name or something.
I know it's rude, but it makes me feel so nervous.

Yeah, I have problems with ignoring people. I'll ignore people like lady mondegreen when they're trying to initiate a conversation and I feel I can get away with it by pretending I didn't hear them. I realize it's rude, though, and that it can hurt others feelings so I've tried to be a little better about it. A lot of the time, though, I just don't know what to say. And low self confidence has a way of killing one's wit so most of the time I just find myself nodding and saying "yeah" or "oh yeah?" with different inflexions.

Lady Mondegreen wrote:I tend to ignore people, sometimes I just pretend I didn't hear it when they're saying my name or something.
I know it's rude, but it makes me feel so nervous.

I do this exact same thing. I pretend I didn't see or hear them. But then of course when they come to me and stand right in front of me, I can't keep it up.

I also hate it when I run into someone and I'm not prepared. Some people I really need to know before running into them. Once, there was this girl who I was kind of crushing on quite heavily, and we'd been friends for a while - I was mostly the one listening to her complain about how her boyfriend treated her so badly - and then I ran into her in a mall, when I was having a milkshake. She came up behind me and said 'hi' and I literally walked away. Maybe I would've stayed, but with the milkshake? I was so scared what she'd think that I just walked away, almost running, and then she came after me, which made it worse.

I also hide a lot, for example when I see someone I know I'll really try to just walk the other way, or cross the street, or hide if I really am not in a mood to talk.

I understand you well. Today in college, during break, someone said a thing or two to me and I ended up mixed in their group to go drink a coffee. We were around 7/8 in total. So we all sit in a circle around a table and conversation progresses. So there they are talking, 2 or 3 at the same time, the canteen filled with noise from people eating, drinking and talking, and I can barely make out a word they say. And when I notice, there's actually 2 or 3 conversations going on at the same time. As I start tiring my mind thinking about if, when or how I should join the conversation, my mind eventually drifts. This is further aggravated by the fact I have ADD. So I end up switching between my inner thoughts and worrying about what I should do in this situation. I only opened my mouth when they talked directly to me, or if the subject really caught my interest and I was confident about it. But to be honest, it wasn't half bad. I believe that being in an average sized group makes the general attention spread, so it's less likely they'll notice you're just standing there listening and not saying word, and it ends up being more comfortable. If we were only 3 or 4 people in total, it would be much worse. In the end, nobody pressured me into talking, or have I felt any judging glances on me. The bad part is not being able to follow and participate in the conversation, but oh well.

Alexander the Great wrote:I tend to ignore people, sometimes I just I also hide a lot, for example when I see someone I know I'll really try to just walk the other way, or cross the street, or hide if I really am not in a mood to talk.

That's my most feared social situation. Whenever I see someone I know out there, specially if I haven't seen them for a while, my RUN sensor goes wild. In fact, I avoided a birthday party the other day just for that reason.

Alexander the Great wrote:Once, there was this girl who I was kind of crushing on quite heavily, and we'd been friends for a while - I was mostly the one listening to her complain about how her boyfriend treated her so badly - and then I ran into her in a mall, when I was having a milkshake. She came up behind me and said 'hi' and I literally walked away. Maybe I would've stayed, but with the milkshake? I was so scared what she'd think that I just walked away, almost running, and then she came after me, which made it worse.

lol, i hope you didn't just turn and walk away without saying anything. My preferred method is simply engaging with people is the most uncomfortable way possible that they end up wanting to end the conversation as much as me.

Alan AF wrote:

Alexander the Great wrote:Once, there was this girl who I was kind of crushing on quite heavily, and we'd been friends for a while - I was mostly the one listening to her complain about how her boyfriend treated her so badly - and then I ran into her in a mall, when I was having a milkshake. She came up behind me and said 'hi' and I literally walked away. Maybe I would've stayed, but with the milkshake? I was so scared what she'd think that I just walked away, almost running, and then she came after me, which made it worse.

lol, i hope you didn't just turn and walk away without saying anything. My preferred method is simply engaging with people is the most uncomfortable way possible that they end up wanting to end the conversation as much as me.

I actually did I was very surprised, and I wasn't prepared at all. I was caught off guard, and I had no idea what to do, and my first instinct was to just walk away from her without saying anything at all. It's a good thing she knows me as being a bit weird. I was really just in my head, because I was in a mall, and then she snapped me out of it so suddenly. The fact that there was a friend with her that I don't know really didn't help. When she came after me, alone and without the friend, I talked to her a little, though. Luckily, she had to leave soon.