What do you do for Living?

I have been unable to work for the past 5 years due to my AVPD and bipolor disorder..trying to find a direction in life..just curious about what people do for a living and if they have trouble finding work or a carrer.

It has been tough finding something that I can tolerate for a job. I have worked for the last 20 years and most of the time I have done data entry jobs. I have had customer service jobs which I was good at actually and excelled for a few years doing that but that was on the outside. Others thought I was really good at my job and I was even put in supervisor positions a couple times but on the inside I dreaded it completely and did not want to get up in the morning to go to work. For the last 5 years I have stuck to doing data entry jobs. One of them I thought it was just data entry then it turned into doing data entry for the sales people and they were breathing down my neck all of the time and that drove me crazy so I quit that. My last job I did only data entry but the people around me doing the same work irritated me also. I actually got along with them OK but I just really didn't like any of them for the most part. I ended up hurting my back in a totally unrelated situation and had back surgery and decided to take some time off and haven't been back to work for the last 5 months. I have to say I have enjoyed not being around people. I am married and I enjoy my husbands company but that's about it. Some people hate being alone I seem to really like it but like I said data entry where I don't have to deal with people is really the only thing I have been able to tolerate for any length of time in a job. Doesn't pay much though.

I hear ya Kari. I'm doing data entry too. It seems to require very little human contact which I both love and hate. I really want to talk to my coworkers. I've been here for about 17 weeks and I havent established a repore with anyone here. It sucks. Although, the silence allows me to get tons of work done. I don't mind repetitive work either. Thats why I took the job in the first place.

Thing is, I just got out of a 3 year advertising and marketing course in college. I really want to do something in my field but i'm afraid to try. I have applied to advertising/marketing jobs here at my company, but I already feel that I have forgotten everything I learned over those 3 years. A job in this field requires communication and I don't feel like I can handle it. I feel this way before I even read the freakin job description. Damn this infernal curse!

I work at a legal documentation company, where I basically feed paper through a machine eight hours a day. I've been doing this sort of job for over three years and am on the verge of going berserk every day I'm at work. It is just so bloody boring, unfulfilling, and of course the pay stinks. And it's become clear that there's no opportunity for advancement, even though I'm a faster learner than pretty much everyone I've seen promoted. I know I come across as cold and rude towards my coworkers, and it's clear that management doesn't care for me and isn't going to give me a chance to do anything else. Every moment I'm there I'm thinking about how I know I could do so much more. I graduated magna cum laude from college six years ago and know I have the intellect to do something meaningful, but I'm so aware of my social inadequacy that I fear taking steps towards a real career. I'm convinced that I'll eventually screw up and be exposed as a fraud. I don't even like looking for other lousy, low-paying jobs, because I take every company that doesn't call back, or interviews me and then picks someone else, as a malicious personal insult.

Last week I did the unthinkable (even for me). I accepted a "promotion" and moved up to the 14th floor of my building. Data entry has now been changed to invoice processing. Al least I thought thats all it was. I have to work with a team of people now and make routine phone calls to clients.....

Guys, i'm going to level with you. I have no idea how this company works. Not a damn clue. They never really explained it to me other then the bare essential info I need to complete my tasks. You know what my daily routine is? I wake up and the first thing on my mind is that I have to go to work and I know its going to be 8 hours of complete unconcievable bull. This is followed by me dragging myself to work while wondering what kind of assignments they will give me to screw up today. Funny part is that i'm always right about my predictions. I get to the office and prepare for the longest day of my natural life (every day seems longer then the last one). Then after work is finally over, I can't seem to find joy at home knowing that, in a few short hours, i'll have to go to sleep and then endure another 4 more days. For my whole life I have needed help through school and help getting jobs mainly due to my below average intellegence (on top of the AvPD thing). I would do anything to get out of this job, but with the need for money I have no clue how to deal with this. I'm about to go insane.

I know what you mean. Every day you're convinced that THIS will be the day that you'll finally lose it and quit your job in a blaze of disgruntled glory. But that nagging voice of reason in the back of your brain, that knowledge that you need a paycheck, keeps you going on, keeps you continuing the same miserable existence day after day. I vew my psyche as being superglued on the edge of a razor -- I'm always soooo close to losing it, yet there's next to zero chance that it'll ever actually happen.

Maybe a bunch of us avoidant types should just quit our jobs and go rob banks together. It'd be kind of funny to see a bunch of overly shy people, terrified of being remotely assertive, try to pull off a heist.

Sweetpants wrote: You know what my daily routine is? I wake up and the first thing on my mind is that I have to go to work and I know its going to be 8 hours of complete unconcievable bull. This is followed by me dragging myself to work while wondering what kind of assignments they will give me to screw up today. Funny part is that i'm always right about my predictions. I get to the office and prepare for the longest day of my natural life (every day seems longer then the last one). Then after work is finally over, I can't seem to find joy at home knowing that, in a few short hours, i'll have to go to sleep and then endure another 4 more days. For my whole life I have needed help through school and help getting jobs mainly due to my below average intellegence (on top of the AvPD thing). I would do anything to get out of this job, but with the need for money I have no clue how to deal with this. I'm about to go insane.

Sweetpants,
Hey, I’ve been there. I know how you feel. Do you feel trapped but don’t know what you can do to get out of it? You feel as if something’s got to give, only it doesn’t happen. I’d like to come up with something that would help, but am not sure. At the job I hated, I used to write and write, my thoughts about what was bothering me and driving me crazy. It helps a little. (Actually I still work there!)

You might be thinking that if you could just find the right job, in the right town, everything would be OK. Well I’ve been there, tried that. It doesn’t help. I kept moving to different places. I kept starting at one school, getting depressed and dropping out, then trying somewhere else. I had quite a few different jobs, and aborted career changes. Finally, one day it hit me that it didn’t matter where I went or where I worked as long as the issues within my own heart were still festering there. My career wasn’t the problem. My address wasn’t the problem. My coworkers weren’t the problem (usually, ahem ). My educational goals weren’t the problem. It was my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that were the problem. It doesn’t matter where you are when the real problem is within you. -- Notice I did not say the problem is you, rather it's the set of symptoms called AVPD that you have, which aren't working for you very well. (I'm in the same boat). But you, your core self, are more than that. Hang in there.

Thanks for the words JB. It was always a dream of mine to join a creative design team for an interesting company. Computers and ad design are right up my ally. I have been searching for a job like that but everything I come accross I feel totally unqualified for. The job simply doesn't exsist. Anywhere. So, thats 3 years of college down the drain.

I just don't understand things the way other people do. I'm a very visual learner. It pisses me off watching everyone else do everything with ease while I have trouble with something as simple as phoning a client for some basic information. But you're probably right about the "its me, not the job" thing which sucks a lot. There is nothing out there that I can do properly (besides backbreaking labor).

I wish I could believe in myself but I just can't. There is nothing out there for me and no way to fix whats wrong with me. btw, i'm undiagnosed. I can feel all the symptoms of AvPD (mainly the socially inept/inferior to others parts) though. I should probably see someone about this but I just don't have the desire to do anything anymore. I'm only 22 and i've already lost all motivation.

Can you believe that last year I was a 100% optimist?

Im working at a design and animation doing animation. Its so hard though. As much as I love what I do, I dread contact with people. And in this territory, creatives are as social and communicative as their fresh ideas. I draw from introspection, which helps me do the work I do, but does little for communication with others.

The sad thing is that working in a collaborative effort like this is probably more important than the talent, and its just that social part that Im having difficulty with. Talentwise, Im ok, but I still admire the way others do it more.

To illustrate how bad it gets, I have to pretend to walk to the trash bin to throw something out just so I could peek in the kitchen to see if there are people there. If there are, I have to hold it a little longer before the coast is clear so I can walk past the kitchen and use the bathroom.

*sigh*

When I do speak with others, from me there's alot of "Yeah, thats great, cool, yeah, awesome. Thats great. I love it. Sweet. Yeah, I agree" #######4 from me. And it looks so fake. And they see it as me being some insincere jerk. But its really me just trying to get out of that social situation. I imagine myself apologizing for being too anxious to try to right the situation, but its sometihng that doesnt/wouldnt work Id imagine.

Previous post was me by the way, forgot to log in.