Why are women like this?

You don't need to read this, nor reply. I just wanna yell somewhere.

I live funny life, really. For the past 12 months I have been contacting different girls thru different dating sites, with no success. Either they stop talking to me or they have boyfriend already. I mean why the hell you are on dating site, when you have boyfriend for x-sake?

They seem to be bored with me after some time, despite the fact I tried to be as much non-avoidant as one can be. I even uploaded my photo! If only they know how hard it is was me. I don't suppose I'm so bad looking either.

So I'm basically screwed. I can't find anyone in real life, because number of people in my social circle is zero, and it seems that girls are interested only in your bank account or something.

The most screwed thing it that I love the girl who work with me. It's hilarious when you think about it. She is not my type at all by physical appearence, but she has such a wonderful personality. I have never love anyone in my life for such a long time, like I do in her case. This week she told me how she is breaking up with her boyfriend, and that it's relief for her to do that. You don't tell anyone such a personal thing, so she must feel comfortable around me. Yet I can't tell her, nor express what I feel for her. It wouldn't do any good. It would only become too complicated. She lives in a different town than me, which is another practical problem. So I watch her, talk to her, going to lunch with her sometimes and I'm in 7th heaven when I see her face. But that's all I can get, cause this stupid f**king damned AVPD, or shyness of whatever it is.

It's frustrating.

venting-forum/

A forum just for venting

Personally i think both genders like to screw each other over in thier own unique ways.

InnoVision wrote: So I'm basically screwed. I can't find anyone in real life, because number of people in my social circle is zero, and it seems that girls are interested only in your bank account or something.

It is the dating sights. I suspect many of them are filled with people that aren't really there or, aren't serious about finding someone on there. I have had MANY bad experiences. I am decent looking too. It isn't that... I am sorry to say a dating site is a dead end.

First, most people don't know who they are so it is impossible to make a match. Second, a lot of the dating sites have a lot of faux people to attract you. Some are players, some haven't been on in years. I would e-mail 50 people and only get like 2 responses. My fave would be after I would quit I would "allegedly" get an e-mail that someone was interested in me. If I joined to see who it was, it would always be someone totally inappropriate for me. Like some 70 year old guy. That is how they get your money.

I would go after that girl you are in love with. You don't have to tell her. Just start being more aggressive. Pretend your car broke down and call her to pick you up -- then you must thank her with dinner or lunch. Be sneaky. She obviously feels comfortable with you. Ask for help with something... girls love that. Plausible deniablity. Let her know you want more but at the same time, if you want to deny it, you can because you were just trying to be a friend.

I envy you, no one at work is anyone I would want to be with and the dating sites are a dead end. At least you have a possibility.

SaraShaw wrote:It is the dating sights. I suspect many of them are filled with people that aren't really there or, aren't serious about finding someone on there. I have had MANY bad experiences. I am decent looking too. It isn't that... I am sorry to say a dating site is a dead end.

Thanks for response, despite the fact I didn't want any. You are right, I will stop visit dating sites and commit my life to only ture love I can have. TO ALCOHOL! :p

...cause you don't know background, I really can't do the thing with car you said, she is not that close to me. She would be like: "what the f***, why are you calling me? Get lost! Screw you, you are worthless, bwahahaa!" Nor any invitation to dinner, for whatever reason will be appropriate. It's no good. I'm no good. Nah, you can't have everything.

I don't like dating sites either. I tried them for a bit, but it was a dead end for me. Everyone who messaged me just wasn't my type, but the majority were just looking for "any" girl to message them back. All the messages were the same & you could tell they sent them out in a mass email or something. I met one person on there, talked on the phone a couple of times, set a meet-up place & date, & they didn't come. It was strange, I was upset that they stood me up, but at the same time, so incredibly relieved because I didn't have to be on that date. Only an Avoidant who actually be "happy" that their date stood them up.

I think you have a chance at something good if you try to pursue that girl at work. It seems as though she likes you, is comfortable with you. You went to lunch with her before? I think that's a huge, good sign. You should invite her out places. In a neutral-type of way, so as to not create too much pressure. Be friendly, but if you want to be more than friends, you have to make it apparent at some time so you don't get "friend-zoned". I hate that word. But I can't deny that it's a real thing that happens.

Don't give in to the avoidance & shyness - fight against it & try to hang out more with this girl.

- EGD.

Some people use dating sites as a way to avoid dating. I did, created a surface image people wanted to date then added 101 cancellation criteria to keep them away, while enjoying lots of casual sex through other avenues.

Dating sites are a great way to avoid dating. I mean by the time you've spent an hour sending off all the "no thank you's" explaining why you're not looking for the same thing, you dont have any time left for dating

its also great to use them as a smokescreen to show people a pre-packaged product that isn't you, so no one knows who you actually are.