Need to Dislocate from Society

I sometimes feel a strong need to dislocated from reality, that often the banality of it is so extreme, that it makes me unseemly. Normal things like the campaign for president, the internet, religion, relationships, etc, all seem to banal and overbearing. Then I think I need to remove myself from the space-time continuum, to stay off the internet and avoid learning news of any further developments in society at large, not look at newspapers, forums, etc, and return almost to a 19th century reality with less focus on self or person. Is this an Avoidant quality or which?

I've been there, maybe. Seeing real world really hurts as a bystander? it is like the whole thing is a big mess but I am even more. No news is good news.

I think it's the emptiness because you're not living your own life. Everything starts to seem so serious. So there is a need to get a life or at least something new in order to face the reality as it is.

I am living my own life. I do a lot of stuff with my time. Maybe you are right on some level, but my idea was that there is a superficial feeling to society, and maybe it was not always like this.

In fact, when I am really living my own life, I feel worse. I gain some better cognitive feeling when I step back from my own life and step outside of this reality that has been pre-designed for me, that I am supposed to just vote, do this or that, and live my life in this hologram of TV and internet.

I have a life. I am negative but not so negative. I learned Esperanto after all. most normal people still scoff at it pessimistically, but I nevertheless defeated negativity to study it. i am considering pursuing the field of journalism and returning to school to study it. I am doing a lot. Even now I am finishing a TEFL certificate.

I can do a lot of stuff that extroverts do, including going to a bar, restaurant, cafe, or anywhere else.

Can relate to feeling overwhelmed by normal things in society. Advertising, the news, politics, looking at crowds of people, houses. Its hard to describe but its all just too much. Sometimes I wish I could just switch it all off. withdraw and isolate myself from it all. I think part of it comes from a sense of lack of control. And in me its attached to a deep anger and sense of hopelessness about how the world is. Feel so powerless.

Feel like everybody wants something from me or is trying to sell me something. Its tiresome. So much conflicting information. Feel confused and overwhelmed by it all. I just want to disappear.

Ah yes, the mortgages, the election campaigns - whatever happened to people just being normal, living in apartments and not living in a fantasy world? Its disconcerting. These elections seem more and more sci-fi, with these weird candidates, and I don't know where they come from or what their backgrounds are. They have their own websites, and some of them are related like Pauls and smile too much. And then the campaign for president starts in Iowa or something, and where is that but in the middle of nowhere. Its hard to even comprehend. The next president will be a hologram projected into your living room that talks directly to you on your living room floor while you sit on the couch like an asshole.

my theory:

surface social reality is a just an illusion. it's a game. unfortunately we all have to play parts, and wear masks that hide our 'true selves' in order to play these parts so society can run smoothly. a lot of people have immersed themselves so deeply in the game that they don't even know they're playing it. i think anyone with a 'mental illness' essentially has a problem of self-relation, which shines an entirely different light on the selfs relation to the outside world, and therefore recontextualises the world to the self's reflection of the self (because everything you see is just a reflection of yourself).

i also think 'the game' is to a large degree utter bullsh*t (it's certainly pointless on a cosmic scale), but although we are part of infinity and we're merely slowed down atoms in the same universe and nothing ultimately 'matters'...we don't experience our day-to-day life in such grandiose ways, and if we all did, we'd be too busy staring at the stars in awe, or engaging in hedonistic revalry for anything to get done. it would be utter chaos. so in order to live as a community we need a society, which is a very intricate organic system. to concentrate on all the seemingly negative 'pointless' aspects of this system (the lies of politicians, etc etc) is often at the expense of seeing the positive elements (art, friendship, etc). i think us avoidants are inclined, through our recontextualisation of reality, towards the negative.

anyway i think in many ways the game is just the natural evolution of human nature. modern day society is, in its very being, a perfect display of human nature.

the worst problems that arise in our modern world i think, stem from the corporate-funded media industry (who basically exploit the very worst of human nature, which i think has a colossally negative effect on the collective psyche and our relationships to others,the world, and ourselves):

1. as wonderful as psychology is, in our modern society, it's used in such a negative way. freud's theories have been perfected by an industry appealing to our unconscious desires e.g - the psychology of identity has been abused by advertising - so in mass media we're constantly fed the idea that the only way to 'be ourselves' is through consumption of material goods. it's incredibly subversive. i'm prone to falling into that trap, so i no longer watch television or pay attention to media aimed at 'the consumer', because it's just poison for the soul.

2. media coverage of events is now constant, and is presented in a way that merely serves as propaganda for those in power. they don't want people to have a voice, they want docile and passive consumers who just buy the stuff their told to and whilst busy playing with their new ipads they won't question authority.

3. we're pummelled with so much virtual-experiences that actual experience itself has largely been devalued. 'why go outside the house when you can live it vicariously through characters on tv?'

4. due to the internet, we're now arguably a global community. this is of course a good thing, but only in moderation. i think if the internet, or virtual experience in general is consumed in larger quantities than our real-lives, then it ultimately will have an alienating effect, which i think us avoidants are especially prone to (escapism etc)

so all those reasons and many more are unfortunately the current 'dominant' reality of 'the game'; this shared illusion we all participate/ choose not to participate in. but there are also positives within the game, which due to the overwhelming negatives, and our predisposition towards seeing only the bad as AvPD sufferers, seem further and further away.

we can't change the game. it's too complex. we can't even really understand the game in its fullness. all we can hope to do is change ourselves in relation to it. we're treated so much like cattle by the corporations and media, that there is a large temptation to either become cattle, just blindly shuffling along totally absorbed in the game, being a good little player, estranged from our fellow man (and our inner selves), or to totally dismiss the game, and go and play by yourself (individually or as a collective). the trouble with dismissing the game is that because everyone else is playing it, you have to mentally 'seperate' yourself in order to maintain your sense of identity, but through doing this your life becomes about dismissing it, about denying it, about not going anywhere near it. i think that is unhealthy. i also think it is a bi-product of AvPD and mental illness in general.

i guess the trick is to know it's just a game, but not to have a totally polarised opinion about it ("you're either in or you're out"), so with that attitude you have the freedom to a) see it AND accept it for what it is, the good and the bad, and b) play it only to the degree that your conscience and 'soul' will allow, without compromise to the inner self. i think for avoidants, we're so fragile in ourselves in our relation to the world (others) that we feel an inner compulsion to retract from the game, so it's kinda difficult to play when sometimes the stakes feel like your very soul.

you can grumble all you like about how much you hate society, but you can't change it, you can only change your relationship with it. if at the moment you think it's all just a banality, then i'd suggest that's just a reflection of how you see yourself...unimportant and without purpose. as how i see it is obviously quite cynically and brutal, a reflection of my own issues. you can't change the world, but you can change how you see it, and what you see in it by changing yourself (if that is your desire) =)

edit: so in answer to your original question, yes it is an aspect of AvPD, but more than that you need to see it's a reflection of you. the extent to which we experience social reality, the extent to which we see (only) the good and/or bad in life, and the extent to which the mindboggling complexity of life can overwhelm us is very much dictated by our sense of self, which is formulated through the prism of our understanding of ourselves, which is for us has become distorted through our avoidance. so really, the extent to which we shut the outside world out, or paint it in our minds to black, is just an externalised projection of our own avoidance.

so i guess in the context of AvPD and personal change through therapy, as we become more re-connected to our selves, our understanding and perception of the world will just naturally change as we do, as it is merely a mirror, and become a true mirror of the core selves, rather than through the darkened mirror of our illnesses.

what can i say gunpowdertea

I think many of your observations are spot on
but you might be over thinking things a bit too much
instead of just dealing with them (assuming here.....)

not that I can blame you I 'think' too much...... i try to avoid it by being busy all the time
but in my opinion it's a typical avdp 'thing' to do

raginmund wrote:what can i say gunpowdertea

I think many of your observations are spot on
but you might be over thinking things a bit too much
instead of just dealing with them (assuming here.....)

not that I can blame you I 'think' too much...... i try to avoid it by being busy all the time
but in my opinion it's a typical avdp 'thing' to do

you assume correct sir =)