Feeling Hopeless

I've gotten to the point where I don't know if its worth it or if there is even a chance where I'll be able to have friends. I feel so disconnected from everybody even on the internet, I'm not talking about here, but on facebook I have 'friends' (whom I knew before facebook) and we used to chat on MSN quite a bit a few years ago, now adays we never talk and I feel it's because I did something wrong or they feel like I've gotten to be a bore or annoying. I can't get anyone to like me or care enough to talk or have a friendship with me. I feel so worthless. I know I'm probably not putting in the amount of effort that's needed to succeed in this kind of thing but I'm afraid of seeming pushy and making them dislike me even more than they already do. I don't think any of them understand the amount of social anxiety I have or how lacking I am when it comes to having a real life. Either that, or they perfectly understand this and that's why they avoid me? I don't know.

Almost everything I post on facebook gets ignored and yet I see these same people replying to everyone else. It makes me so depressed. I'm thinking of just deleting it all and going away, there doesn't seem to be a point to having an account anymore on there.

I just don't know what to do, I feel like talking to more people on the internet is a small step I can take to feeling less anxiety in real life. Right now I only have one friend who I normally talk to but I feel like it's not enough. I'm so afraid of people finding out one thing about me that puts them off so that they never want to talk to me again. Why do I have to be so worried and embarrassed of myself? I always think people are judging me so harshly over the internet and I don't know how to get over it. Posting on a forum is one thing but chatting with one person on your own is so personal, it makes me incredibly nervous.

Another problem I have is that I got some friends on facebook who I talked to a lot when I first made my account but now I don't really like them because they started showing strong interest in things that I find annoying (they are obsessed with wrestling, emo, talking trash about people who drink or smoke, calling people 'gay' as an insult, ect) and I'm so different in my views. What's even sadder is that they, for some reason, believe I'm the same when I never put out any of that stuff. I always want to reply to their entries telling them that I disagree with what they've said but I don't have the guts and I feel like I can't delete them either because they are sort of inter-connected with a lot of people on my friends list. I can't seem to find anybody that I truly enjoy talking to... Or enjoys talking to me.

You're not alone. My self esteem might be particularly bad lately but it feels like I'm being ignored everywhere I go, even online. Even on this forum. I see people make friends like it's a natural progression that I never learned how to do. It really hurts.

I also understand what you mean about trying to fit in with people that you disagree with and don't even like. That makes the rejection feel even more pathetic.

neowhimsical wrote:I see people make friends like it's a natural progression that I never learned how to do. It really hurts.

This is exactly how I feel... I'm about to cry right now. I feel like I'm completely broken and nothing can fix this problem I have.

neowhimsical wrote:I also understand what you mean about trying to fit in with people that you disagree with and don't even like. That makes the rejection feel even more pathetic.

I want to be liked so badly but not at the expense of being my true self... It's so difficult though. I feel like an outcast everywhere I go, everything is always a competition on looking good, being trendy, listening to just the right type of music, ect. It's just all so forced and fake. I just want to be me and find other people who aren't so concerned with those things but it seems like an impossible task.

I never liked facebook ..... a huge "who-has-more-friends" craze.

People bragging about how awesome their lives are. To be honest, I really couldn't give a flaming s***!!

If you want real friends don't rely on social networking. That will always disappoint you, since people there are so superficial.

And don't say you're completely hopeless!! There's always hope, you just don't see it! Hang in there man, I will be praying for you.

shnbwmn wrote:I never liked facebook ..... a huge "who-has-more-friends" craze.

People bragging about how awesome their lives are. To be honest, I really couldn't give a flaming s***!!

If you want real friends don't rely on social networking. That will always disappoint you, since people there are so superficial.

And don't say you're completely hopeless!! There's always hope, you just don't see it! Hang in there man, I will be praying for you.

Yeah, I really hate social networking too but I feel like It's all I have at the moment. I don't know where else to go on the net to try and find people that I'll like?

I suppose I'm looking right at it. lol

Thanks for the encouragement and prayers, shnbwmn. :] No matter what I do it seems there is always a small part of me always looking to make things better, even when I feel as if it's not worth it.

Since you said before you were homeschooled and never got much of a chance to socialize with people your own age, I'm guessing that most of your Facebook friends are just internet friends? While internet friends can be a good way to connect with different types of people, I feel like they are more dispensable than real friends. It's great to have somebody to talk to when you are feeling lonely... but that's usually where the relationship will peak. As a result, you will often get ignored by them in favor of the real friends they might have.

I'm certainly not saying to give up on social networking and talking to people on the internet. Like you said, it seems like the only thing you have right now, since you aren't in school or working. I just hope that maybe this will help you realize not to look too deeply into social networking sites. It's a great stepping stone to overcome social anxiety, but it isn't a permanent solution for real friends.

By the way if you ever want to talk to somebody I'm here. I can't guarantee you we will be completely similar, but I would always be open to talk.

merely_me wrote:Since you said before you were homeschooled and never got much of a chance to socialize with people your own age, I'm guessing that most of your Facebook friends are just internet friends? While internet friends can be a good way to connect with different types of people, I feel like they are more dispensable than real friends. It's great to have somebody to talk to when you are feeling lonely... but that's usually where the relationship will peak. As a result, you will often get ignored by them in favor of the real friends they might have.

You're right. But I feel like I'll never be that important to anyone, even if I met people in real life and we became friends, there will always be others that they like better than me and I'd feel just as bad, if not worse about everything. I just want to connect with people and be happy but it's hard to imagine it actually happening.

merely_me wrote:I'm certainly not saying to give up on social networking and talking to people on the internet. Like you said, it seems like the only thing you have right now, since you aren't in school or working. I just hope that maybe this will help you realize not to look too deeply into social networking sites. It's a great stepping stone to overcome social anxiety, but it isn't a permanent solution for real friends.

Sometimes I wonder if it is helping me or not... Could it actually be making things worse? It seems like it just lowers my confidence... I don't know.

merely_me wrote:By the way if you ever want to talk to somebody I'm here. I can't guarantee you we will be completely similar, but I would always be open to talk.

Thank you... A lot of people on here have been really nice and said similar things and there are definitely moments when I want to but I have no idea what to say. I'm just plain awkward.

Stay away from the Facebook it was made by the devil.

Socialretard wrote:Stay away from the Facebook it was made by the devil.

I have to agree with you, it even got my grandmother addicted to it's horrible games.

PSH,

Typical Avoidance we're more interested in how we look to others than how we look to ourselves.
You could be friends with all face book members except one... and all your thoughts would focus that that single individual.

I see your opening post as a great thing... Huh, I hear you say
"Tell me more Dwight"...

It would be my pleasure PSH...

You're now at a stage of wanting (needing) to mix with people, you have put your self out there.
Waiting for the acknowlodgement for... acceptance, belonging before you allow yourself to move forward.
Waiting for acknowlodgement etc is Miss Avie trying to hold you back

Why have you hit the wall???- well you haven't it's the next stage of learning how to control Avoidance.
You are now allowing people in- the world has got slightly bigger-- Good well done

Miss Avie has fed you her reasons why you're feeling bad and that no one is responding (thats her job to hold you back)
Default her now with your decision- get back to that site post up regarless of any return correspondance.
Yes, you will get afterthoughts not unlike your initial post..... MOVE ON, don't entertain those thoughts.
Any afterthoughts keep calm, come on here, add to your post or... help someone else just move your thoughts on.

Everytime you move your thoughts on, think about something else, your building up your theshold- meaning Miss Avie has to work a little hard to upset you.... distancing yourself away from negative thoughts.

Dwight