Conversational ineptitude

I have the same problem, and it really makes me feel like I have no (or maybe just the dullest possible) personality. It's like my brain shuts off during conversation, I wrack my brains out trying to think of something to say and end up with nothing. It's like a mental war for me.

I strongly believe it's due to anxiety. Are you the same way around people close to you (Mother, father, siblings, etc)? I am able to hold a conversation with people close to me, which validates my suspicion that is just anxiety related.

I find it generally easier to talk to people i don't know, especially in a professional sense. Im pretty good at small talk and talking about the other person which helps them build rapport. But i find it harder to let go with people im closer to. Apart from really close friends and family.

Ive just started a thread on conversation in a relationship form.

I find that with most friends that are not the closest of close i feel theyre judging me and i have to come up with witty answers etc. i prob end up putting too much pressure on myself and then dont know what to say!! then i feel i come across as boring, which im sure i dont.

I think it comes from two things:
a) we are unlikely to have anything interesting to talk about because many of us don't go out on adventures or do fun things due to either fear of ridicule or embarrassment and what is there to talk about if you don't go out very often or do anything fun?
b) The fear in the situation right then and there. Fear you'll say something stupid or embarrassing.

I can relate to a lot of what you all wrote. I feel like people get bored quickly when they try to start a conversation with me. What bothers me most is my lack of desire to get into a conversation with anyone. It feels like work to me. But at the same time I wish I could be a part of things so I do try, usually one-on-one conversations and I focus on them by asking questions. Fortunately I have a very good memory about the details they have mentioned before so I can usually think of things to ask.

What you speak of applies to me only when I am talking to women I like, especially through a cell phone.

It's like a science teacher asking you to explain something, and then he asks you to explain your explanation, and then he asks you to explain your explanation of your explanation, and so on, until you can't say anything else. It feels like somebody is constantly forcing me to squirm for answers.

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

I know exactly what this feels like, "what do i say.....fuuuuu this is awkward." I've learned how to overcome this though. It's pretty simple.

Make "I" statements. Don't ask a question, say something starting with "I". It can be anything, anything you want to say. Because you're saying it, it's valuable, it's interesting, it's relateable. Something amazing will happen. The other person will react TO YOU. Their brain will try and find a memory to relate to your story/statement subconsciously. This is how conversation goes from effort, to effortless.

I feel like some people won't care about what I have to say, or they're not interested in listening to me. Alot of times I just avoid talking to them you know? I know it's scary sometimes with certain people who seem judgemental/careless about you. But I promise, all you have to do is make statements. People will react.