Avpd or SA or both?

So i was diagnosed with social anxiety, but not avpd. Although i can relate more to the avpd. Just wanted opinions on whether or not i may have avpd.

Around the age of 7, i was very shy around other kids, and would spend most of my time by myself. One time the teacher asked me to take something to another classroom and i burst into tears because it meant i had to go into a roomful of other kids and be the centre of attention and it would be like the walk of shame, with all the other kids staring at me. I would have felt ashamed and embarrassed and inadequate.

Whenever i could see the teacher looking around the classroom to pick someone to answer a question, i would try and disguise myself by hiding behind someone or pretending to look busy, hoping i wouldn't be chosen. In all of my class photo's, i was hiding behind someone, so you couldn't even see my face, i also did this in school concerts. When i had to do sports at school, i refused to go, and would just pretend i was sick and stay at home because i couldn't play properly, and was humiliated on many occasions. If my only friend was sick and wasn't going to school, i would panic and stay home too because i couldn't cope without her, as i would be alone at lunch break, and i would look even more stupid. So, when she was sick, i stayed home, too.

As i got older, it become more obvious that i was different. I felt different to everyone else, i was constantly on guard at school, and i could never connect with anyone or form friendships. I'm now 20, and i haven't had a friend in 7 years, i've never had a job, walking down to the local shop which is literally a 5 minute walk away is too difficult. I feel like people are watching me, criticizing me and that i look stupid.

I recently started a volenteer job, and i hate lunch breaks when we have to sit around a table and talk. I actually rather sit by myself so i don't have to talk or be rejected. I feel so lonely and disconnected, even in a sea of people. Being around people for more than an hour or two makes me exhausted, suicidal and really miserable. I won't say anything because i might say something stupid, someone might critize me and i would be made fun of.

The woman who is training me at this job told me not to put the knives in the sink, because someone could cut themselves, and i should put them on the side instead. I felt so ashamed, embarrassed and stupid. I wanted to cry because i felt so humiliated.

The more i try to lead a normal life, the more i realise how painful and almost impossible it is. I take two steps forward and 3 steps back, and end up back to square one. I'm supposed to be catching the bus to this job, but i couldn't bear it, even though my occupational therapist has done bus practice with me about 10 times.

I always thought avpd and sa were basically the same thing or at least shared similar charateristics. But then again I'm not a doctor.

It would probably be best to ask your doctor why they think your one and not the other.

Really it doesnt matter what you have though, from an offical label point of view, as what you have described is what many of us here basically feel like and have lived through. Its the symptoms that are important, not the label.

According to Kantor even professionals debate whether AvPD is just the same thing as a generalized social anxiety disorder or not. His belief, is that they are different, and itdepends on your thought processes: are you making the same cognitive errors that avies do? A professional would have to observe that before he could DX you.

Supposedly, the difference between SA and AvPD is that SA is like a phobia, so it's something you've learned and it can be unlearned with the right conditioning, while AvPD is more a stable pattern of personality so it's much more difficult to change. Some researchers suggest that SA is the low-end spectrum of AvPD, so if you have SA that isn't dealt with when you're young, it could possibly turn into AvPD when you're older and your personality is more developed and set around those lines. And some people think they're really just describing the same thing. Hopefully the DSM-V will do a better job with it, since they're going to continuum scales.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you, in that I was diagnosed with SA with a possibility of AvPD. I suspect I fall more towards the AvPD end of the spectrum, but maybe a milder case than some. Just keep in mind that if you have AvPD, it's not the end of the world and there are things you can do to retrain yourself. It can take awhile, since you're working with personality traits rather than simple fears, and you have to be prepared to be really uncomfortable at first, but I think it's worth it. At least it has been to me.

Thanks. I'm supposed to be at my volunteer job 9-3pm tomorrow. Well last time i worked those hours, i was miserable because i felt overwhelmed and there wasn't much for me to do after i had done everything she wanted. So i don't know if it would be rude to dictate the hours i work there, i was thinking of asking if i could just work 9-12pm because last time after 12pm i was just hanging around with nothing much to do.

The distinction between AvPD and GSAD was the one part of Kantor I had difficulty following. So I'll paraphrase what I remember, but probably best to check with the source. Kantor thinks of people with social anxiety as having the anxiety but plowing through anyway. People with AvPD, OTOH, feel the anxiety but then withdraw from the challenging, or, they appear to meet the challenge, but then try various strategies to sabotage any chance of success since people are not, ultimately, something they want to deal with. So basically the SA are less misanthropic, and sabotaging of their chances than Avies are. Kantor uses an analogy of eating peppers versus onions. If you eat hot peppers it affects you but not those around you, but if you eat onions it affects both you and those around you. Kantor really emphasizes how unpleasant avies are to deal with, whereas I think people with social anxiety would not project out the misanthropy as much.



Also, according, Kantor's extended defintion of AvPD, there are certain subtypes of avies who don't really feel much social anxiety but are still avoidant in that they don't want relationships, or like people, and will actively sabotage relationships they do get into.



(Kantor has gotten alot of flak for his extended defintion, but I think it explains lots of what I see in my family. Also I think once one conquers one level of AvPD there is the risk of getting tripped up at another level, e.g. maybe you can approach women and be okay at short term relationships or flings, but LTRs you are hopeless at.)

Millon, OTOH, seems to emphasize the social anxiety that avies face and seems to think this is the primary problem. Also seems to lean toward it being more biological in nature, and less "fixable". So take your pick. Both very insightful men.

Homosapiens wrote:Thanks. I'm supposed to be at my volunteer job 9-3pm tomorrow. Well last time i worked those hours, i was miserable because i felt overwhelmed and there wasn't much for me to do after i had done everything she wanted. So i don't know if it would be rude to dictate the hours i work there, i was thinking of asking if i could just work 9-12pm because last time after 12pm i was just hanging around with nothing much to do.

HS- I'm no analyst, but it sounded from your story that what may have started as a Social Anxiety (being called on / trotted out in front of the class) may have grown and enlarged into AvPD.

I have a good acquaintance who has SA. His is specific to public speaking- despite the fact that he is acknowledged as an expert on the material he has to present. His affect when just hanging around is 'normal-' certainly more warm and easy-going than my 'serious-child' act.

If I may offer a suggestion: from the trouble you have been having, you might want to stick with the schedule they give you. I have improved myself by being utterly predictable: I show up for work 10 minutes early EVERY time I am scheduled, I do exactly what is requested even if it is just sitting around and being available, I say goodbye to my manager before I leave. My employer is happy, but I think I way get more out of it than just the pay.\

Whatever you choose to do, good luck!!