Does being an AVPD make it easier to be cheated on?!

_GOD_ wrote:

Dwight wrote:

_GOD_ wrote:Does having a mental illness make a partner more likely to doubt the relationship? Yes. And imo that's about as far as we can go without generalizing groups of people.

I'd take your case as a specific example, to elaborate, but you didn't describe any of it, you just raged about being last to know. That's the problem with this post, you didn't give us information to work with. I am of course assuming that what you are really wondering is whether you could have prevented the cheating or atleast the embarrassment when you found out. Right?

Bit harsh for your first post.
Your questioning is right, but we are here to support each other.

Welcome to the Forum
Dwight

Thanks.

But I disagree on your perception that anything I said was "harsh", I was stating factual observations. Sugar-coating would imo only distract from my point. I like rational discussions more than anything else so if there's a way I can "support" people then it's through that, provoking them to think about their situation critically. Being all cuddly and nice is your job

Doesn't sound like room on here for both of us... you win-I'm out!

Thanks for all of your replies. It is now December and all of this originally happened in April. As for "god"'s comment, I think your a jerk for being so harsh , but I guess there is truth to what you said. And yes , I am so embarassed.The details are that a woman called my house looking for my husband and she had no idea he was married! That was how I found ouit. The sad thing is that she doesn't even live far from us and her parents are friends of my in-laws. I simply don't know people in our community because I am too shy to go to any event where there are people I don't know. I think that my husband takes advantage of that fact. I also know that my low self esteem allowed me to marry him in the first place because he had already done this before getting married. Well, as the year has gone on, I found out he had a secret cell phone and was still in contact with this woman. He said he was just trying to keep her from coming to our house because she's "crazy". The only one crazy is me for staying. But i want to try for the sake of the children but I know wiyhout trust there is no relationship.

_GOD_ wrote:Does having a mental illness make a partner more likely to doubt the relationship? Yes. And imo that's about as far as we can go without generalizing groups of people.

I'd take your case as a specific example, to elaborate, but you didn't describe any of it, you just raged about being last to know. That's the problem with this post, you didn't give us information to work with. I am of course assuming that what you are really wondering is whether you could have prevented the cheating or atleast the embarrassment when you found out. Right?

Well first of all I think you are a jerk! But your rudeness did cause me to look deeper into myself. And yes, I was embarassed and mad, as well as betrayed. I must ask you have you ever been in a relationship? In love with a woman/ or man before? Has anyone ever broken your heart? I think that if you have, you wouldn't seem too "rational" yourself!

I don't know about that. I am Avoidant and always extremely affectionate, desiring to cuddle like a cat and sleep in the same bed with the woman. I don't see why I would then be cheated on, unless the woman is a slut to begin with and thus will be easy to take advantage of by extroverts.

I can only speak for myself but I'm pretty analytic when it comes to relationships so I'm relatively confident that I would catch them, however I do think APD makes you more of a welcome mat due to your loneliness I think you'd be more likely to take them back.