Are you Avoidant even in Dreams?

So, I had this dream where I had to have a roommate and I kind of had one already in my dream but even though she seemed to be one of those friendly acquaintances I usually have I didn't really like living with her because she was very disorganized and I disliked to get into a room full of cloth everywhere... First avoidant remark... 1. Even though I was bothered by her attitude I never told her and keep to myself my anger because I didn't want either conflict or to hurt her.

That girl left for a while for some reason and sudden another girl got into our room and she was pretty, smart and popular and she asked me if I wanted to be her roommate instead and I was shocked but I was also really happy, I think she might have thought that we were both responsible and organized enough that we would keep an apartment in good shape... and then a lot of Avoidant feelings came along... 2. I felt inferior than her 3. I was too nervous to have a normal conversation with her, too afraid to mess up and disillusion her and not being the roommate she was looking for 4. I didn't feel worth it 5. Distrust - I thought that probably she was just making a prank and in reality she was just hoping I say yes so she would laugh later about my naivety with other people. 6. I started feeling bad because I didn't want to betray the other girl by leaving her for this one because I though she was better... 7. The will to be part of a group & being friends with someone (I rarely ever feel this anymore, I used to feel like being part of the group a lot when I was a kid but I lost most of that feeling through the years)

I told her that I would have to ask the manager of the place who happened to be another girl our age... and that I would tell her later~ So I went and told that person everything about the change but I also told her that I wasn't sure if that girl really mean it when she said that she wanted to be my roommate. The manager was convinced that the girl was making fun of me and offered me to take revenge of that girl and she started calling someone to help her out to carry her plan to take revenge on that girl but I asked her to stop and told her that it was ok and that I rather talk personally with that girl and even if she was making a prank I wanted to do as she wished and become her roommate regardless of the motive behind and the manager was dissapointed about my decision. 8. Unable to be mean to others... 9. Too naive to even have a bit of hope in people I don't really trust in 9. Self-sacrifice in order not to make people mad at me or dislike me and avoiding conflict.

It was a weird dream but I realized that I acted very avoidant... and that I let people do whatever they want and ignore my own feelings just because I hate conflict and I hate to hurt people. I mainly make decisions with the heart more than I do with my head.

Got a question for you, have you had a dream in which you acted avoidant or have them often?

It sounds like your dream was showing with the first girl that you need more confidence to stand up for yourself and be more of a leader and with the second girl that you have a lack of trust and are insecure, probably pretty obvious things but I suppose this must be on your mind a lot and your dream confirmed it for you, hope that didn't sound too mean.

trezza wrote:It sounds like your dream was showing with the first girl that you need more confidence to stand up for yourself and be more of a leader and with the second girl that you have a lack of trust and are insecure, probably pretty obvious things but I suppose this must be on your mind a lot and your dream confirmed it for you, hope that didn't sound too mean.

It didn't, I appreciate your words!~

I think that I have never stopped to think about all the things that I do and all the things that I feel when it comes to people... I am just surprised about how many avoidant thoughts I had in such a short dream and its quite a shock to realize that that's the way I usually act... I should speak my mind more often even if people would not always be happy with what I say... but is really hard~

Half the time, I don't dream about people. I'm alone and exploring something like an enormous building, driving around surreal scenery, walking on the beach.

The other half of the time, I dream about people, though they're frequently "dream extras" and not people who I know.

That does sound avoidant in a way...

I've written about this before, but I was definitely avoidant even in my dreams. The people in them were almost always strangers as opposed to those I really liked. When they were people I did like I just somehow knew it was them, since their appearance was completely different from reality. One particular girl I knew, but just over the internet, and had no idea what she looked like in person (pictures were rare way back then) kept popping up as an this idealized, pure goodness fantasy object.

Nowadays, my dreams are quite non-avoidant. The people who appear are often those I know and like in real life and they appear with close to their actual real life appearance. I'm starting to dream of doing non-avoidant activities lifestyle-wise. The themes of the dreams too, are also more often day to day as opposed to far out (although, I, of course, still get the farout dreams too). Now let's to see if I can make the dreams a reality.

Anyone else take melatonin at all? I find it can make dreams more vivid.