Some good advice from my friend

I was talking to one of my best friends the other day about being avoidant. I basically told her that I had been hiding from the world to get control. Her response opened my eyes.

She said "No you're looking at it all wrong! Right now you don't have control! Your life is the way it is because you've let fear have the control. Happiness isn't just going to fall into your lap. If you want something you have to go after it."

So if you're hiding from the world so you don't get hurt you're letting fear win.

So true. Fear rules the life of any AvPDer, UNTIL THEY TAKE THAT CONTROL BACK.

Yes that may just be useless cliche to many here, yet it is so true. Fear makes us think that a goal we want to reach is IMPOSSIBLE, that going into the real world and interacting is IMPOSSIBLE. It controls your thinking and manipulates your life into what IT wants it to be.

BUT WE MUST TAKE THE CONTROL BACK. Fear isn't a disease, it's a way of thinking. A learned behaviour. When fear tells you you can't do something, and you obey and heed it's warning, YOU ARE LETTING IT HAVE THE CONTROL. You are letting a mere thought control what you do and how you do it.

Anytime you want to do something, and fear tells you you can't, just remember it is a mere thought, THAT CAN BE OVERRIDDEN WITH OTHER, POSITIVE THOUGHTS.

You must take the control, tell fear to it's face that it is wrong, that you can do it, that it will not control your life. You should lead your own life, the way you want to. Don't think too much, just do it.

Hope this helps someone out there, coz it certainly has helped me.