Sam Vaknin's opinion of us.

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/perso ... ers68.html

Narcissists and psychopaths lack empathy. It is safe to say that the same applies to patients with other personality disorders, notably the Schizoid, Paranoid, Borderline, Avoidant, and Schizotypal.

Do we, now.
Oh and I seriously doubt it applies to BPD and Schitzotypal too...

Anyone else furious?

I'm not really furious, but i am quite annoyed at how ignorant he is.
No idea if this relates to anyone else, but I find it hard to show my emotions to the outside world due to anxiety etc (the usual stuff), especially empathy.

Just because i find it hard to show it, doesn't mean I lack it. I find that i have quite a bit of empathy, I just don't show it.

Yeah, suppose I shouldn't be furious... it's just so his many readers are now going to believe we all lack empathy. He has no right or even reason to say that - he has no degree in Psychology and probably doesn't know anyone with AvPD, and he certainly doesn't have it himself.

Daegran wrote:No idea if this relates to anyone else, but I find it hard to show my emotions to the outside world due to anxiety etc (the usual stuff), especially empathy.

Just because i find it hard to show it, doesn't mean I lack it. I find that i have quite a bit of empathy, I just don't show it.

Exactly. I've found myself sounding cold for fear of sounding over familiar with people, so I can understand not showing emotions. There's no truth in this... I'm sure a lot of us do the odd little thing, small gestures of helpfulness, that show we do care about people; I know I do. Not really seeing any proof for this claim.

It does not bother me, because I know I am an emphatic person and I don't really know this guy (other than hearing people complain about him). That said, there are still times in which I want to help someone (like a tourist at the train station who is clearly confused) but choose not to, because I feel too anxious to do it. It makes me feel guilty though.

Coincidently, last time I visited my therapist she asked me if I am able to understand and empathize with the inner feelings of those close to me. That did bother me and made me wonder if she thinks I am mildly autistic or schizoid or something. Not that it is bad to be such a person, but I am not and I don't want to be seen as such.

Does anyone also feel especially bothered when watching other people embarrass themselves? If it is fictional I can watch it, but I am simple unable to watch real people do it. It is almost as if it is happening to myself. I just have to look away, because it is too intense for me. Like those talent shows on TV in which they show people who are clearly unable to sing. I just can't understand why people want to see that or why the creators of those shows put that on TV (don't they feel guilty for doing that?). Also on forums, seeing threads without replies bothers me.

Hang-on, since when does "lacks empathy" equal no empathy or not caring about people?
I understand the word "lack" to mean "to be short of or deficient in". So you can lack empathy and still:

Daegran wrote:have quite a bit of empathy

As for Sam, I understand that he isn't very highly regarded. Here are some anti-Sam threads on PsychForms, which you may appreciate:

http://www.psychforums.com/narcissistic-personality/topic35733.html?hilit=vaknin
http://www.psychforums.com/narcissistic-personality/topic59666.html?hilit=vaknin

Sam Vankin's observation is nothing new or controversial. The belief is that all PDs involve self-absorption and deficits in empathy (which does not mean complete absence of empathy as platypus points out). PDs also imply a lack of complete maturity and one idea is they involve getting stuck at some stage of maturation that most people make it through.

Nice of him to demonize people with conditions that they didn't ask to have. If normal people think they have the right to make people with mental health issues the bad guys, then it's only fair to say normal people are terrible from our point of view, but the majority rules so that would be a big no-no.

Can't say I'm thrilled. But at the same time don't feel surprised he'd resort to claiming something like that.

At any rate, it just proves to me he doesn't know as much on these things as he appears to believe he does! And all he's really achieving is just making himself look silly imho.

Sam Vaknin's academic credentials are from a diploma mill, and he is a diagnosed psychopath. He is considered by many to be a fraud.

Just wanted to throw it out there, since it hasn't been mentionned in this thread yet. Lots of talk on this in the NPD forum.

IHaveEveryDisorder wrote:Sam Vaknin's academic credentials are from a diploma mill, and he is a diagnosed psychopath. He is considered by many to be a fraud.

I've heard that before! I read that before on Wikipedia but since have never been sure what to think on how much truth there was in that. Though certainly not discounting that as being a likely possibility! Admittedly, I've only just recently been finding stuff out about him. I'm sure there's still much I don't know!